Hacker (CENTURIES series: Book #5) (VERY SLOW UPDATES)

'Skinny Love' (Bonus Chapter)

• Due to Wattpad removing my book, "F*ck Me Sideways", I'm uploading each bonus chapter into their respective book. Enjoy •

Fuck David Copperfield. My girl just made three sandwiches go Amelia Earhart.

Staring at her licking her thumb distractedly while focusing on her laptop, I think my favorite pastime was becoming watching Smurf eat. Or just watching her. Yeah, just watching her seemed good. One could do it all day when she kept confusing my brain between sexy and cute as fucking hell in a blue hair dye.

Frowning, I slowly lifted the tablecloth and stuck my head under it. After a moment, I heard Smurf's voice clearing itself above the table, trying to catch my attention.

"Uh, Caleb? What are you doing...?"

"I'm trying to figure out where the fuck you put it." I said, sincerely wondering how she devoured three fucking sandwiches and didn't even as much as pop a button on those skinny shorts. I mean, they were ripped before she started eating, so where the fuck did she put it?

I heard her sigh, then felt a yank at my throat as someone pulled on my hoodie and dragged me out from under the table. Smurf was glaring at me and let go of my hoodie before sitting back down, returning to her laptop. "Would you stop doing that? We're in public."

True. We were at a coffee shop in L.A, catching some lunch while hacking some boring files on a few shady politicians. They were always fun to mess with when things started to get dull. "I just don't get how you can eat so much and never grow a handle. Do you vacuum pack your food or what?"

My question made her flatly lift her eyes. Smiling at this point seemed like a dumb idea, but what was a guy to do when his girlfriend looked like she was about to perform a public castration?

I smiled sheepishly and watched her roll her eyes, pulling her laptop closer. The angry pout that formed on her lips shouldn't have looked that adorable. But it really did. "Shut up, I can't helpit. Shit just doesn't stay on my body." She grumbled. "I wish it would, but it just doesn't, and I hate it, so could you stop reminding me?"

Whoa. Okay. Sensitive area. Proceed with caution, fuckwad.

I knew Smurf had always been skinny. Even before I met her, all of the pictures on her laptop dating years back showed she was born skinny, grew up skinny and adulted skinny. She was thin, shapeless, not much boob or butt, mostly taut skin and a few soft places with just enough meat to pinch. If it wasn't because I spent pretty much 24/7 clinging to her, I would've said she was unhealthy, eating too little or maybe hiding an eating disorder.

However, she had just munched down three chicken avocado sandwiches with extra pesto and spinach, and after discovering she hated vomiting, after one of my not-so-successful drinking binges, I knew she wasn't capable of any of that.

She loved food, but food just didn't love her. Or at least it had commitment issues with her body. Carbohydratedly challenged.

Still, at the end of the day, who needed all that extra junk anyway?

Not to shame the others, but some people just weren't meant to have all... that. I couldn't for the life of me picture a world where Smurf had big boobs. The thought actually made me slightly grimace. It just wouldn't suit her. She was flat-chested, petite, and a pair of huge knockers would just look completely wrong on her. I loved tits, but they just wouldn't go well on my Smurf.

She was pocket sized and I liked it.

Actually, I fucking loved it.

Scooting around the table with my chair, making a helluva lot of noise that made the entire coffee house turn and glare at me, I ignored them and placed myself right next to Smurf who once again looked up and gave me an annoyed brow. "What?"