The Wastelands

Chapter 39

Blue ran to the edge of town and went another five miles until the buildings were a distant outline in her vision. The road curved to the east, carving through the blooming landscape and wide open fields. The way had been cleared of abandoned cars and leftover debris from the war. It was considered a main passage for any travelers on their way to a new adventure. The pavement was in desperate need for repairs it would never see and the grass on either side had grown wild, but it worked for travelling across country. There was nothing around except the town a few miles back and the random homes stretched out miles ahead.

An ideal spot to be alone.

She stood in the middle of the barren road, staring to the emptiness. An old farmhouse sat on a few acres of a wheat field. Holes devoured the roof over the years and thick, rotten boards covered most of the windows. No one lived in the home and only a handful tended the land, yet everyone in Hatfeld took advantage of its fruitful amenities. Townies harvested the food at the proper season and saved for months, keeping plenty to share, sell, or trade at the market. They considered themselves blessed to be surrounded by the farmland.

With her feet planted firmly on a chunk of busted concrete, Blue stared at the vast array of weeds and plants growing between the cracks of pavement and bits of dirt. The field had yet to grow with wheat and corn; appearing more like a burnt piece of land leftover after an apocalypse. It looked like a scene straight from a horror film. At any moment a monster could rise from the ground and steal her breath away. A nameless creature that once haunted her childish dreams.

The only monster around lived in her head. Her own constant nightmare.

That distraught creature banged against her brain in a madness she couldn't understand. Her heart ached in a way she'd never felt before. The tinge in the back of her mind was more like someone taking a knife to carve their name at the base of her skull. Her blood boiled and she breathed heavily; not for the losing her strength or running for so long, but for a reason that baffled her.

The spat with Casey was beyond her control and he took the win. It didn't matter if she wanted him to see life through her eyes and shove aside the fear in his. The life he'd been accustomed to was that of a slave. A person whose sole purpose was to keep their head down and do as they're told. Nothing more, nothing less. He'd lived as a slave for too long and she was determined to get him to adjust to freedom and embrace whatever changes he encountered. The way he looked at her, the distress in his eyes told her he wasn't ready to change his life as drastically as she hoped.

She ran her fingers through her hair and blew a sharp breath between clenched teeth. It angered her knowing she had no control in fixing things as fast as she wanted. Arguing only went so far and she refused to stick around long enough to see how it might end. Running away was the best viable option and one she took regularly. If she had stayed, she'd risk driving him away or forcing him to hate her. She also risked losing him because she had no control in the words that spewed from her mouth.

"I did the right thing." she argued with herself. "No one else was going to stand up to Ray besides me. It was the right thing to do and that's always the best when it's someone you care about. Right?"

She paused, waiting for an answer to pop out of thin air. The monster kept its mouth shut. Not even the breeze granted her with a response and it only raised her confusing rage higher.

She began pacing back and forth. Once her feet him the grass on one side of the road, she spun around, took twelve strides until she hit a mound of dirt, then repeated the process. A furious conversation took over the parts of her mind where the monster called home and she clenched her hands to fists, wishing to fight the imaginary battles it wanted to throw.

"We have to do the right thing, no matter if I lose control." she said, gritting her teeth. "That's what I was told to do and if I don't, horrible things will happen and people will die. I can't let him die. I can't let anyone I care about die. Why can't he see that I am just trying to help?"

Again, she faced no answers.

She kicked a rock hard enough so that it disappeared in the growing weeds. The act never put a dent in the argument building in her mind. It was a useless dispute, she knew that. It would end with her being in the wrong for wanting him to be more like her by pushing aside the fear that clouded his everyday life. Getting him to see things the way she saw them was more complicated than she hoped.

The pinch at the base of her skull enhanced and she winced. She rubbed the back of her neck, desperately wanting to find the cause of the migraine.

"I should go back." She said, stopping her pace and staring toward town. "Running from problems shows fear and I'm not afraid of anything." Her eyes turned to the ground, "Or am I?"

Too many questions built up in her mind and the chaos continued. She counted the things that frightened her in life. Losing control and hurting people closest to her was on the top of that list. For reasons she still couldn't figure out, Casey became a huge part of what she cared about. The moment she laid eyes on him, she never wanted to let him go and yet she ran away from him.

"Yes, I have to back." She argued, keeping up with the momentum of her solitaire conversation, "Or do I? I don't know." She started pacing again, "Monster if you would answer anything I'm spitting out right now, it would be great. I can't live this confusing mess if you aren't going to provide assistance when I need it most."

She picked up her feet and rummaged for an answer to the agonizing questions. It was worse than the nightmares, worse than her daydreams of being back at the Hospital. Seeing the anger on Casey's face was far more damaging than her own demented torment and she wanted to admit defeat and claimed fear as the reason for not going back.

How did one boy make me more confused than I have ever been in my life?

She stopped walking and looked to the sky. There was a once a time when she had someone to talk to when things got confusing. His advice helped her through tough decisions although she rarely thanked him. She was certain he hated her by now. He'd know the truth and grow to despise the girl that left her family behind. Yet, her brother was always there to tell her what to do. In his mind, doing the right thing was the only way to go. He told her so the last day she saw him and she tried to live by those words whenever she had the chance.

Don't think; only follow the path that's right. Those were the words he spoke the very last time she saw his face.

Saving Charlotte was the first right thing she ever did. Escaping the Hospital when she had the chance became the second. She wished things had gone smoother when she left her parents in uncertainty at the house, but their lives would be ruined if she'd have stayed. Everything that took place since her feet landed in the Wastelands had become the right thing to do. Helping Casey and the other slaves was no different. She stood up for him and put Ray in his place. She wanted the world to see that.

"I need to go back. Leaving was the wrong choice." She finally said, then spun around.

Her eyes grew wide. The beat of her heart grew faster and the hairs on the back of her neck stood straight.

During her self-afflicted argument that dragged on for a while, she failed to hear the tiny noises cascading around her. The snapping of twigs, the breathing that drifted so silently from mouths of people twenty feet away. Their footsteps hardly made a sound and yet they approached her on the road, startling her for the briefest moment. Her hand grazed the hatchet, but she waited for them to make the first move. The first sign that revealed them as the enemy and she would delight them with the taste of her blade.

*****More excitement is still on the way. Keep on reading and enjoy the last few chapters of Blue's saga. 

Thanks for reading!