not meant to be - TMF

ii - lovesick

[ meanwhile ] 

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Luke's POV 

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For the past few days, there's been something on my mind. Or someone. I've never had this feeling as intense as it is now, so I've been writing song lyrics as a backup, taking inspiration from the song Jake sang for Daisy. It's not the best thing I've ever written, but it's enough to convey my feelings. Just in case I freeze up when I go to confess. 

I haven't told anyone, not even Zander. I can't bring myself to even tell him. 

What's wrong with me? I've been so off from just one person. 

As I play the song that Jake and Hailey wrote, the drums match my everlasting heartbeat. Thump, thump, thump. Except this heartbeat stops short when the song ends, giving me time to think to myself. 

I don't know how long I'm staring at the floor, but I look up when I feel as if I'm being watched. Zander's just left the room, while everyone's conversing about Jake's crush on Daisy. As if it wasn't obvious. 

Hailey announces that we meet up at lunchtime tomorrow, and everyone takes her statement as a cue to leave. 

I've kept the sheet of paper containing all the words I wrote in my pocket, they're as good as I can make them and I'm almost ready to go up to this person. But this sheet is my only copy, I couldn't afford to lose it. 

I notice that Jake and I are the only people in the room. He approaches me just as I exhale a sigh of relief as I find and recognize the slightly crumpled paper. 

"Her, er, Luke. Are you okay?" He asks in concern. 

I've been too obvious. "Oh, yeah, I'm fine, thanks." 

I don't think he buys it. "Is... something bothering you?" 

"I guess you could say that. Y'know, Jake, I'm kind of jealous of you." 

He looks genuinely astonished. "Huh? Really? Why?" 

I chortle at his confusion. "I mean, don't get me wrong, I couldn't be apart from my baby... 

"but I wish I could sing like you. Maybe then, I'd find it easier to convey my feelings to the one I love... " 

Not knowing what to say, I hand him the lyrics that I've been guarding, the lyrics that hold all my raw, delicate feelings towards this person. I'm glad this paper has a use for someone, even if it's not the person I wrote it for. 

"They're not for you, but it's probably easier if you read that instead of listening to me ramble on," I note, just in case. 

He's at a loss for words. "Oh... Wow. I didn't know you felt this way. I'm not sure if it makes it any easier in my experience, but uh, hey! You shouldn't give up hope! Why don't you just tell them how you feel instead?" 

I give him a few seconds to continue reading my lyrics. "I'm not sure if that's a good idea..." 

I hear footsteps approaching the door. "Luke!" 

I focus my attention towards my childhood friend. 

"Hailey's staying behind with Sean for a while to work on technical stuff. I'm going home. You coming with me?" 

I swear I can hear the faintest silver of melancholy in his tone as he darts his eyes between Jake and I. 

I realize I've probably been making him wait. "Oh, yes, I'm coming!" 

My attention goes back to Jake. "Ah, well, see you tomorrow, Jake." I remember he's still holding the lyrics I wrote, but my subconscious tells me not to ask for it back, likely to avoid questions from Zander. 

Why am I still unable to tell him? I'm able to tell Jake with no problem and yet, my best friend, the one who I trust the most in the music club, still doesn't know. 

I'm glad Jake doesn't realize he still has the paper, and mutters a quick "See ya..." as he looks back at the paper. He's about to hand it back to me but I give him a look that I hope says "Keep it for now". 

He seems to get the message and lets us leave. 

Turning my head towards Zander, I notice he has that similar solemn look to his face from when he called me over; he appears to be deep in thought and looks at the floor. Just as I'm about to ask if he's okay, he perks up and asks me, 

"You wanna hear something really dumb that happened today?" 

I flash a warm smile at him. 

"Sure."