not meant to be - TMF

vi - stacy

TW - homophobia 

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Luke's POV 

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I couldn't tell him then. 

I said I would tell him later today, but this time, I'm finally ready to stick to my word. 

The rest of the day goes by in a blur. All that was significant was the fact that Zander may not trust me as much anymore. I feel terrible, I do. But if I had told him about who I liked, I'd have to uncover everything first. 

It's the last period of the day, and each minute brings me closer to my confession time. 

As I play football with my classmates, I hear a faint, but distinctive voice in the small crowd of spectators. 

"Woo! Go Luke!" 

That voice belongs to someone special. 

Stacy. 

The person who I tell myself I've been pining for a few years. 

The person who I've kept behind Zander's back. 

I may sound like a terrible person myself, but I owe everything to her. 

- 

I've known Zander for most of my life, but it was at around age 10 that I started falling for him. One moment he was a friend, and the next moment he became more than that. 

I had told my parents about this new feeling as soon as I went home. What I didn't know was that they were homophobic. They gave me 2 options. 

"Stop liking your friend that way, 

"or you're not seeing him anymore." 

I didn't know what to do at that moment, so I tried to suppress my feelings. It wasn't until a few days later that a girl approached me at school. 

She had raven hair, periwinkle eyes, and a kind smile. At the time, all I thought about her was how similar in appearance she was to Zander. 

We started talking, and I confessed to her that I needed help. That I couldn't like this guy and that it was either I stopped liking him, or that I couldn't be friends with him anymore. 

She introduced herself to me. And she said she'd do the best she could. 

Afterwards, Stacy and I started to get close, arranging times to play and talk in secret. She told me to keep my distance from him for a few days. 

The catch was that my friendship with her couldn't be disclosed to Zander, if I were to keep my crush from him. If he knew about her, I'd have to explain the cause of our friendship, which would ultimately put me at a bad spot. 

Days turned to weeks. 

Then a month. 

Before I knew it, I thought I miraculously stopped liking him. I assume I may have just needed to take a step back from being with him all the time. I thanked her endlessly once I realized, and still hold my gratitude to this day. 

Zander and I had a bit of a fight because I had ignored him for so long, but we made up and it's been pretty much been smooth sailings ever since. 

I still talk to and hang out with Stacy, and our old routine of meeting up in secret still stands. 

Over the years, I've developed a liking for her that has only amplified every time we meet up, every time I hear her voice, every time I think about finally telling Zander everything. 

Those lyrics were meant for no one, but now that he knows, I say they're for her only. 

I'm ready to tell Zander about Stacy, because I'm ready to confess to her. 

If I tell Stacy I love her, there's no more stress about me having liked Zander before. 

It was foolproof. 

- 

Before I know it, P.E. ends, along with the school day. Zander and I, along with the rest of the club members, stand at our lockers, packing up for the weekend. 

Hailey suggests that we meet up at her and Zander's house sometime to further practice for the competition, and we settle upon a time and date. 

Being near the people I trust, I'm ready to tell him. 

"Uh, hey, Zander-" 

I stop short because I notice Stacy walking in the hallway, struggling to keep herself upright with so many books piled up in her arms. 

"Give me a minute, I'll be right back." 

I jog towards Stacy to give her some much needed help. Because she can't see in front of herself, we bump into each other, sending the books to the floor. 

She groans in surprise and pain, because most of the heavy books were flung in her direction. "Gosh, I'm so clumsy..." 

I exhale in relief, knowing that she's alright. "Don't worry, it was my fault anyway." Her and I pick up the books that have been scattered about. 

She tenses up for a split second, knowing that voice belongs to me, and knowing the pact we kept with each other. 

With one hand carrying some of the books, I help her up with my free hand. 

"I'm sorry for being such a bother. Uhm, do you think you could help me carry these... to the English classroom?" 

"Oh, of course!" I respond. 

Facing the direction of my band mates, I ask, "Would you guys mind waiting for a sec?" 

"Sure." Sean says, voicing the unanimous answer for everybody. 

Stacy and I walk nonchalantly to our destination, as if we were merely acquaintances. Because that's all people know us as. 

- 

She shows me where to arrange the textbooks, in the shelf the teacher keeps at the back of the room. 

As I put the last of the textbooks in their respective locations, I wait for Stacy to finish up. At this point, I realize we're alone. 

Sure, someone could walk in the room at any given moment, but no one does. Something in my gut tells me that it's time to confess to her. 

I clutch my lyrics, ready to finally rid them from my grasp. 

I face her as she shelves the last of the books, a serene look encapsulating her face. 

There's no turning back. 

"Stacy?"