You're making things worse for me.. Why? (Harry styles) #wattys2015

part 17

-ALEXA-

i had been in this hosital for around 2 weeks, i didnt have anything to do.

the first few days in here i felt the urge to cut myself but i couldnt because people were watching me all the time.

Katy had come to visit me a few times, also told me how bad harry is feeling and he thought i had killed myself because i didnt turn up for school.

''lex, someones here to see you..'' the nurse said i looked at her confused

it wouldnt be my mum because shes working, katy would of told me she was coming so i had no idea who it was i got out of bed and placed my jumper on walking out the where the person was waiting for me

i looked up.

'are you serious?' i thought to myself. is this real? am i dreaming?

''how-how did you find me?'' i spoke ''i heard katy and your mum talking about it so i searched up and now im here'' the voice spoke

i felt anger, i felt rage, i didnt know what to do or think or even say.

''im so sorry for everything'' it spoke again. ''why are you here?'' i asked ''to tell you that im sorry, i feel so guilty for everything i have done to you. i didnt know what you was going through'' he spoke

''harry, i dont want to hear it. i dont want to hear any of it. can you not see im trying to get better. im getting help'' i took a deep breath ''i can see'' harry spoke

''next time when you and your pathetic friends want to bully someone make sure theyre mentally stable, make sure you know whats happening in their personal life, actually scrap that'' i stopped for a second breathing ''DONT FUCKING BULLY ANYONE AT ALL'' i shouted

-HARRY-

''lex im so sorry, i really am. i shouldnt have done any of it and i feel so guilty. lex please just listen to me'' i said as she stood up and walked away i tried to follow her but a security man pushed me back

i saw lex stop in her footsetps, i thought she was going to come talk to me.

she turned around ''goodbye harry'' she spoke with tears in her eyes. ''lex no'' i screamed trying to get her attention but she just ignored me

i walked out the hospital and got into my car, i started to punch the stearing wheel. i cried. i havent cried before. why did i cry?

i cried because i was angry with myself.

i started my car and drove back home.. i walked in the door and see alexas mum there standing talking to mine

''harry'' alexas mum spoke i didnt know what to say ''yes'' i replied to see what she would say

''lex told me you went to go see her'' her mum spoke

''i-i - i just wanted to say sorry but she ignored me, she didnt want to speak to me'' i told her with a shakey voice

''i know she told me, she also told me to tell you she is sorry for shouting at you but she doesnt want to see you ever again. you brought back too many bad nightmares shes had to go through again'' her mum said i understood

i understand why lexi dont want to see me again, i cant blame her.

if someone bullied me and made me self harm i wouldnt want to see them again.

''can you just tell her im sorry and i wont ever do it again to anyone. tell her ill leave her alone and never speak to her again'' i replied as i walked upstairs

i sat on my bed just looking at some things before i knew it i was fast asleep.

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// it's 12pm on Sunday and I've only been awake for 10 minutes 😢 I'm sooo tired!!! \\