guitar picks - semishira angst

4~all good

The three boys woke up to the sound of a concerned voice. 

"Mhmmh" Reon murmered, before bolting upright "Guys. Guys wake up" He said, nudging his friends with his elbow. 

"What? What time is it?" Semi yawned, his eyes widening in embarrassment when he saw the figure in front of him

"Hi boys.", a slightly older woman said, looking over the boys with a bland expression upon her face.

The boys recognised her easily. The cutting brown eyes, the small stature, the tawny tones locks.

"Morning Shirabu-san" Tendou said, straightening his posture

"Shirabu" Semi whispered to himself. "Is he okay?" He yelled, standing up straight Shirabu's mother's face. Her hair looked bedraggled, and streaks of discolouration marked her face as evidence of tears.

"Semi-" Reon started, shocked at his friend's behaviour to the elder 

"-it's fine. He's okay. In fact, I think he's awake but he'll be feeling groggy. I'm sure he'd love to see you all" She said, giving them a nod. 

The boys knew this probably wasn't the truth, but wasted no time busting through the door to check up on their friend. He looked healthy- as healthy as he could be given the situation, but tired and frustrated. 

"Hi" he said plainly to the three boys

"Kenjirou. Shit, man we've been worried" Tendou said in a concerned tone 

"Yeah well don't be. Doc said it was a hairline fractured rib and I should be good in 6 weeks. No volleyball for 12 weeks though. Guess I'm off the team for now" Shirabu said plainly

Semi felt uneasy. The fall had looked bad, but a fractured rib didn't seem like the worst case scenario. In fact, the fact that Shirabu would be able to play again was incredible. So why did Shirabu look so void of emotion? And his mother, appearing like she was going to cry again at the very sight of his friends?

Semi pegged it down to the worries about how bad the injury could have been, yet couldn't shake his discomfort. 

A nurse and doctor walked in to the hospital room, and said to the boys that they'd need to do some more checkups on Shirabu to ensure he hadn't damaged anything else but even this seemed suspicious. Tendou could sense that Semi was off and pulled his arm around him, doing the same to Reon on his other side. He gave Shirabu a smile and pulled the other two out of the room.

"Let's go" Tendou said firmly, in a matter of fact manner

"It's not just me that thinks something up right?" Semi whispered to Reon

Reon shrugged his shoulders and looked ahead of him. "We should probably get home now,"

"You guys go ahead, I'm gonna go see my mom" Semi said, walking to his mother's hopsital room.

"You want me to wait?" Reon said as Tendou went to get a snack from the vending machine

"Nah. I might be a while. I'll see you guys tommorrow" He said waving them goodbye.

***

Shirabu shuffled uncomfortably in his bed, his mother gripping his hand tightly at his side. He hadn't been engaging in any conversation with her or the doctors after they came in. He just didn't know how. He tried blocking out what the doctor had said, but the words kept flooding into his mind like pests.

"we did the scans...making sure the bone didn't pierce the lung...found something...x-ray..lump above his ribs

..possibly cancerous"

"Possibly Cancerous" Shirabu thought as he snickered sarcastically. Yes, that seemed appropriate to dump on a teenager and a single parent. But Shirabu knew they were just following protocol, yet he didn't know if he would have rather of kept living in ignorance until it was too late.

He didn't have the capacity to produce a reaction that would've made sense- his mother on the other hand was a different story.

She bawled her eyes out at the news, gripping her son and blaming herself while the doctors' poor attempts to comfort her failed. Shirabu could probably cry if he had wanted- his mother had never cried in front of him and seeing her break down like a child was enough to make him scared, more than the news that he might have cancer. 

He couldn't even begin to grasp what was happening to him. Why him? Why, when he has dreams of his own, a mother he wants to make proud, should he have to deal with this bullshit?

His mother finally calmed down, her knuckles white from gripping the rail of the bed, looking at him with tired eyes.

"Were those your friends?", she asked, trying to ease the dull mood

"Team mates" He replied, knowing what her next words were going to be

"But they came all the way here? You all must be close, why did I never meet them?" she asked again

"Dunno," he replied, with minimal effort.

His mother backed away, and Shirabu panged with guilt. He knew his mother was just trying her best, given the situation, but he couldn't find it in himself to give her the common courtesy of a normal conversation. 

His mind already felt poisoned with the looks of his team mates faces, all so hopeful and reliable. He tried not to think about he might never see those looks again after they knew the truth. Shirabu had tried, right? Was there even any point worrying them when the doctors themselves didn't know what was festering inside Shirabu's potentially dying body?                           

He wanted to tell them the truth but didn't want the pity that would come from it.

"We'll need you to come back in for tests tomorrow, alright? There's no incessant worries that you should have at this point" the doctor said with a pleasant smile                                                

This didn't make Shirabu feel any better. His mom pat his back firmly signally they were leaving. They left the hospital and walked home in an uncomfortable silence.