ball of sunshine

side story

I am emotionally unstable,this is a  story I wanted to write to express myself.

Naruto pov

As a kid mother was not the best she did drugs, ignored me, moto, and menma. As the middle child (menma is the oldest) I had to share alot and often got told to do things. Father was always at work and spended time with us but not alot, grama sunade and grampa jiriya (I'm not even gonna g to try spelling anything correct) didn't exactly like me, they put me to work the most out of my siblings. I met sasuke when I was playing alone in the front yard, he offered me chocolate then introduced me to his parents they were super nice and told me that sasuke could come visit me anytime anywhere. At first things started to feel better like the fantasy novels you read where the two friends have more privlages and where best of friends ya know what I mean? During thunder storms he would hang out at my house, mito had a crush on sasuke and always tried to make him hang with her but he preferred hanging with me weird right? I was 5 years younger but he liked me more then mito who was one year younger then him. And menma was always unstable, trying to hurt others get what she wants ya know. So me and sasuke hanged out, we would play everyday and he would help me, he was my teacher, my friend, and most of he was my only family the only person I could turn to, mito was always outside with friends, mom was always out trying to find more drugs, father was always forced to work with jiriya menma was babied by my grandparents. At one point mother didn't want us....and left us with our grandparents things went down fall form there menma became rebellious, and occasionally she hurted us.
Eventually my grandma had enough of us to and sent us back to my mother. With high hope of seeing sasuke again I packed my things, which wasn't much only a bag full, when we arrive I walked over to sasuke's house and we talked and played for awhile till he stopped and looked at me and told me to stay strong and not cry, he was moving away.... He was leaving me because his parent wanted him to study in another place and with that .... We said our good byes.. after that mother lost the house we became homeless, social workers gave her a warning and she sent us to live with her 'friend' ... She was worse then mother she smoked in front of her kids, hurted us and didn't feed us enough. Mito ran away and left me behind... I took care of me and my brother,menma. We eventually got with mother again but I was tramatized, quiet, a follower. I felt as if I had no soul just a puppet. Then again we went homeless, mother left us with my grandma again, she forced me to work, I was still only5 for god sakes, you don't put a five years old to cook, sweep, mop, garden, run errands and watch over your younger sibling for bloody merlin's sake. When I turned 6she made me go to the neighbors house and help with yard sales, to anyone outside of the family,house you would think *oh wow, she so obbident and such a good kid!* No I was dying slowly inside, mito did self harm, menma became selfish, and my grandma only kept spoiling her. When I saved up money and bought toys, my grandma would snatch my toys away and gave them to my little brother.... Eventually we were sent to school, I made one friend and had a crush, later on he confessed but I guess it was only a joke cause when I asked to hang out he chose his friend over me. Not long after my friend moved to another school, I got bullied. Menma became popular an I was left in the dark. Mother came to pick us up from school sometimes and one day the principal came to talk to her, he didn't like her and said that because she was black she couldn't pick us up anymore. After that she took us, found another school and left our grandma, we were homeless again, we woke up before dawn ever morning walked a mile to get to a place were fed and biked 5miles to arrive at school. I spent alot of my time In the library, I felt safe there, no one to tell me that what ya have belongs to them, not many kids and it was quiet, the books sent me into another world where I wish I could stay at but sadly it always ended. After a year living in the streets a man said we could stay with him he was really nice! But soon problem happend, he was in a car accident and with that being said we were asked to leave. To the streets we go! Again...a man saw us and said we could join him at his place which wasn't much, a make shift house in the back yard of a family that wants to help the man,there was electricity tho and food not much space to sleep but we manage. We stayed almost half a year with he man until again someone calls the cops and told the house owners that we couldn't stay here,lucky us we weren't there when they came so they didn't take us away. When we went back to the night they said that we could stay for the night but that we ad to leave in the morning because they didn't want problems with the cops, during this 6months I was gifted with a puppy, a small 2month old black pup.after wegot kicked out, One night tho we were walking around and found a guy that wanted to talk with mother they talked and said to wait in the extra tent the man had,it was big and warm compared to the cold air outside. A women saw us go in the tent and called the cops, we had to flee, we spent 4nights under a highways bridge with another of my mom's friends she was nice still really young we slept in tents until they found us.... Mother had been away for days, and if I hadn't said so earlier father was sent away too because he was threatens to do something but didn't want to risk us getting hurt so he did it, it was just my and my little brother in the cops care, I was still very emotionally unstable and the cops must have seen threw my screen because she tried reasuring me which only made e panic more. She sent to the social worker department building, they left us in many rooms always taking one or the other to ask questions, I later found out mito  was the one that had called the cops when we were under the freeway, she was given a foster home and we were about to get one to. For another half year I didn't see my older sister. The foster mother was nice I guess? She already had alot of kids in her house, many that were in the same situation as us, but they were older, some of them still tended to run away, one of them, jake was always trying to run away we got along well, he was almost 4 years older then me but he acted like a 5 year old sometime and sometime he acted like a adult, me and menma shared rooms with jakes little brother, Jesus. When I turned 8 my older sister mito was transferred to live with us, but she was unstable,she tried choking us and was sent to a hospital, I think we passed out after that because I don't remember much, when she was back tho she kept her distance. Menma had also become very unstable, he grabbed knifes and tried stabbing everyone, one day he slammed the door close and I was in the room with her and I got us to leave but the door wouldn't open.... I was scared of small spaces and panicked I banged on the door and screamed, mito tried opening it but It didn't open so she slammed into it, when it opens tho instead of checking on me ..  she checked on menma... Later that year the daycare taker locked menma in the closet without any light or food for 5 hours.....I want allowed to help him unless I wanted to join... And if ya haven't noticed Im more then terrified of small spaces, after that he was never the same he hated small spaces to he became rebellious and I was still the puppet.. eventually we got tooken in by my aunty, .....she doesn't like me either, often yelling at us, telling me I was fat, I stopped eating , I stopped sleeping, and I stopped caring, I began self harm but got caught one night and now I don't risk it much, sure I still do it everynow and then but not often now I'm 13 and menma is 11 he spoiled and orroagent as ever. I'm forced to cook broom clean and help with anything and everything. No one knows but I'm still very emotional unstable and I'm worried that one more push, and I'll be back on the path of self harm. No my life isn't completely bad, we sometimes laughed,played, but the was rare most of the time you'll never find me because now Ive master the teneuqe of silence and don't make a sound when I'm moving around, I like smaller places now being flexible helps me hide in small spots. I don't trust anyone anymore but I'm not a soulest puppet anymore, my aunty took away our theripy and now we don't have it anymore. When I'm older and move out, I will resume my theripy, and live the life I want I will help kids have a home , I will do photography,bake,sew and much more I will foster kids and support anybody, wether your bi,gay,lesb,pans,trans, I don't care you are all welcome into my heart

Emochild note
I'm not a very emotionally stable person, one second I can be smiling and the next I'll e having a panic attack. I've learned to hide behind a mask. I won't say who but this is a real story, real events you won't be able to find it on social media, well probably not until a few decades but yea this is real an I know who they are there still trying to cope but there doing better. I just want to say, talk with those who care for you tell them what your feeling