Until the Stars Fade Away [MxM - SaifahZon] [COMPLETED]

Night 5

AS SAIFAH SCROLLED THROUGH HIS PHONE, a whoosh of fresh air blew through the open balcony, bringing along the faint smell of rain and smoke. To cover his bare chest, he brought the duvet up to his face and smiled; the floral scent overpowered his senses as he breathed in. He had noticed it before already, while his face was pressed into the pillow, and thought that Zon must have just changed his sheets—most likely expecting him to stay overnight again.

Not that it was much of a surprise.

Since his first proper sleepover a few weeks ago, he had stayed in Zon's bed until the morning over and over again, at least once a week. He did not stay every time they met and never if they hadn't had sex before. He was not reluctant about the idea anymore, however, and Zon didn't seem to mind either.

Over time, they had worked out a routine: first, Saifah prepared Zon a coffee (lots of milk, no sugar—now he knew) during his shower, so that he could work overnight energized. Then, in the morning, before the alarm went off, Zon returned the favour, and as soon as Saifah disappeared behind the bathroom door, he jumped into the bed to have some rest.

Their system, although peculiar, worked exceptionally well for both of them, whether it was the weekend or a working day, like today. But since they were as unconventional as their relationship, this new rhythm felt naturally comfortable for both of them and neither would think of changing it for something more typical.

"Do you think I'm aro?" Saifah's question popped out of his mouth on the spur of the moment, his eyes still on the phone. He wasn't sure if his voice reached Zon smoking on the balcony, but an instant later his messy-haired head showed through the door; a cigarette in his right hand and confusion in his reddened eyes.

"Did you say something?"

"I asked, what if I'm aromantic." Saifah adjusted his pillow and sat more comfortably, while Zon put his smoke out. "I'm reading this article now and it kinda hits home. Some of it, that is. Not all."

He frowned, not even sure why he had started the conversation. It's not like the concept was unfamiliar to him, but he had never taken it under consideration before. To be completely fair, he had just barely started reading about it a few minutes ago, just because he came across some random article by chance. He probably should have read up on it more before talking about it to anyone else, but at the same time, the thought it might be it struck him so unexpectedly that he couldn't help but feel the urgent need to brainstorm that idea with Zon.

Zon sat at his desk and looked at him, unsure. "But don't you want a relationship?" he asked.

"Is it mutually exclusive?"

"Maybe not. It's a spectrum after all." He put his legs on the bed and crossed them at the ankles, his arms folded as well. Although his face stayed emotionless, Saifah knew he was serious about it, maybe even more than he did himself.

"So you think it might be right?"

"I don't know, Saifah, it's up to you to decide if it fits, I guess." A wrinkle appeared between his brows, while he took a deliberate sip of coffee. A second later, though, he shot a sudden smile at him. "But if it was, would it be that bad?"

Saifah felt his lips stretch across his face, as Zon's words enveloped him with a warm feeling of comfort. No, he was right, it would not. Not at all. And the thought that—no matter the outcome—he could discuss it with him later, made him even more grateful for Zon's openness.

Suddenly, Zon blinked at him like an owl. "Wait," he paused, "does that mean you...would stop with all those dates?"

"Huh." The question perplexed Saifah more than he would have expected. Well, that would be an obvious step, wouldn't it? To stop forcing himself to go on all those dates, knowing full well that he would never probably feel the way he expected to feel. But at the same time...would he? Would he actually stop? He frowned. "I...I don't know," he admitted carefully. "I mean, in the end I do want a relationship. So maybe I just need to change my approach instead?"