i failed again today. but it doesn't hurt. or it hasn't been triggered yet. i am so disappointed of myself. for real. i feel like i am not making everyone proud of what i do, and by that, i am constantly failing.
no one is there to support me, cheer me, guide me, and accept me. i thought, what happened to those people? did they really left me because i am such a disappointment. i try my best but that's all what they see. nothing but failure.
they don't know how it is hard for me to study everyday, no time to revise because of household duties. that's one of the reason why i lack. i guess. they came to say "oh your classes are done now do this" but they don't know i have piled up homeworks, study cases and demos. so i how do i manage that all? and in the end, i failed those.
there's nothing i can do after that. but continue to live as a disappointment. they expect so much from me since i'm the eldest, yet do they approach me when i have a problem? when i need help?
no, they weren't there. an addition to reason why i feel like i don't deserve any of their nice treatments and say i need to everything since i'm an adult now.
but how do i do all that, when they did not guide me, be comfortable with me when i was younger. like i always need to ask permission for everything. "can i eat/cook this?" "can i study now?" "can i go somewhere? have something to buy" but you all always say NO.
how do you expect for me to grow, do the thing normal people my age do, when that's how you treat me? it greatly affects my mentality.
see? i can freely talk to my phone, socmeds, about my problems but not in front of your face. you made me like this. i hate it. i hate myself
STAI LEGGENDO
tired of being tired
Casualedon't mind this book. this is just about me, talking to whatever this is, about my life because i have no one to talk to. mostly talking about how my life goes on, my struggles, depressing stuff that i need to let out to not completely consume me. ...
