The truth comes out - ACOSF Feysand POV

Forgiveness

Feyre

Moments later, we landed back at the house.

Our home.

I thought back to the first day Rhys brought me here. It was an extravagant birthday gift that I complained about.

It's too much.
Not for you. Never for you.

Now, it was a gift I'd always cherish.

So build a house for us, Feyre.

Build a house with rooms for all our family.

Build a house with a nursery, Feyre.

That's precisely what I did. I spent months designing each part of the house, making sure that every member of the inner circle had a room fit for them. It became a symbol of us all. A symbol of everything we had fought for. Even if there were times we were a part, this house would always be waiting for our family. The fire would be cackling, scents of freshly baked pastries would be floating around each room and the sound of laughter would be coming from the main living room.We'd have family dinners, we'd drink ourselves to sleep and we'd share in our happiness. It was a promise to our future. One, I thought, that may be taken away from us now.

The lake seemed crystalized by the sunlight, but for once, I saw no beauty in it. I nearly spilled out my wings. Nearly winnowed as far away as my magic would allow me. If only it wouldn't cause possible harm to my pregnancy. Not that it mattered anyway.

The both of us will be dead in a few months.

Rhysand must have heard the words in my mind, because with a growl he said, "Not another fucking word of that!"

Still in his arms, I squirmed to get down. My mate was furious. Furious enough that he slipped up his anger on me, even if I knew it wasn't directed at me.

"Put me down and get out of my head!" He was reluctant, but obeyed. Only when he placed me on the floor did I realise I was shaking. Trembling as the leaves did to the fall wind. I just didn't know if it was from fear or from anger. Rhysand took a step towards, seeming as though he wanted to hug me, but I pulled back. There was a moment of regret when I felt him flinch at my reaction, but it wasn't enough to overcome my anger. Turning on my heels, I began to walk inside. I heard Rhysand's quick steps chasing after me.

"Feyre! Talk to me! Please!" I stopped at the front door of our home, twisting back to face him once more.

"You should have told me. Did you think I couldn't handle it? That I was your weak pregnant mate?"

"Of course not! You can handle anything life throws at you. You've proven that time and time again."

"Then why? Why did you hide it?"

"Madja told us the day she came to check on you. I-... I was beside myself. You know how I get when it comes to you. I couldn't bring myself to take your happiness away, Feyre. Not when you seemed to glow everytime we talked about it. But maybe... Maybe another reason why I didn't want to tell you was that if I did, it made it real. It was like accepting there was nothing I could do." I saw his frustration as he ran a hand through his raven hair. His hair had gotten messy, but his clothes were still fit for a High Lord. He was wearing black pants and black shirt. A few buttons near his collar were left open, leaving bits of his chest tattoo in plain sight. He hadn't bothered to grab a cloak or jacket to shield him from the cold either. His wings were nowhere to be seen. I realised that my shivering may be due to the frigid autumn air too.

His words broke something inside me. My anger began to slip away like sand in an hourglass. My mate hung his head low, both his hands in a tight fist, his knuckles turning white. Based on the way he was shutting his eyes, I knew he was holding back his tears.

"We're a team, Rhys. We've been a team from the start." I crossed my arms while looking up at him. Even before I knew it, we were a team. He never once gave up on me when I was imprisoned under the mountain. I may have hated him at the time, but everything he did was to help me beat Amarantha. He was the only one to bet on me against the Wyrm and the only one who helped keep me sane. "No secrets. No games. Honesty. Whatever the case, whatever we have to face, we do it together."

He finally looked up at me with bloodshot eyes. My words seemed to have hit a nerve and I knew he was  thinking about the same memories. Those moments we shared in my cell. The nights he made me drink to forget. All the moments we worked together to defeat the king of Hybern.

You're my salvation, Feyre.

Hesitantly, he took a step forward. He brought his hand up, but stopped near my cheek. He looked in my eyes with a puzzled look, asking if I had forgiven him. Asking if he could touch me. When I didn't move, he took that as a signal that I had. Or at least, that I was making my way to it. Placing his palm onto my cheek, he whispered, "I'm sorry." His hand shakes against my skin.

"I'm sorry, Feyre. I'm sorry." The crack in his voice was enough to break my heart in two. I didn't think he was only apologizing about lying. I think in some way, he blamed my condition on himself. It was easy to be mad. Being mad left no room for other emotions. I didn't have time to be scared or worried, but seeing my mate breaking down before me brought tears to my own eyes. The wall I had built between us collapsed in a heartbeat.

This time, I'm the one who stepped closer. My arms wrapped around his waist and I felt his muscles tense before unclenching. Rhysand relaxed under my touch and he brought his own arms around me.

 
"I understand... At least now I know why you've been so moody." I teased, aiming to lighten up the mood. Rhys hardly cracked a smile. I wanted to tell him it'd be okay, but we both knew that it wasn't guaranteed. "We'll get through this, okay?" I asked instead.

"What's the use of being the most powerful High Lord when I can't even protect my mate?" He gave a miserable laugh. "I feel powerless... I couldn't protect you. I should have known. I should have stopped you from shape shifting. I wasn't considering the dangers or even the possibility."

"This isn't your fault. We'll find a way. Maybe Helion..." I'm interrupted before I can finish.

"I already asked him. Begged him, actually." To that, I raised my brows. Rhysand wasn't one to beg.

Unless he's on his knees for me.

"There's still time." We still had months. That much was true, but how far could we get with that much time? Again, the thought of dying, the thought of Rhys dying, sent a shiver down my spine.

"You're shivering."

Blaming it on the weather, I said, "It's cold."

Rhysand tilted his head before replying, "I know how to warm you up." He smirked down at me and before I knew it, he had me pinned to the front door. My blood boiled in an instant, my eyes locking on his.

"Or we could simply go inside." I whispered, my breath condensing in front of me from the cold.

"What fun would that be?" He groaned into my ear, pressing his hips against mine. I could feel the outline of his length digging deep into me. Before I could say anything, I found myself tumbling backwards into our room. Rhysand had winnowed us right in. "I have to have you now, Feyre."

 
My heart was pounding at the thought of the hours ahead.

"Then have me."