ill hurt you, eilish.

1.

monday- april 6th

"remember the homework is due in tomorrow! if you forget it's 60 minute detentions with miss Parry in c12 on friday after school!"
mr yalha (yol-har) yelled as the sound of the bell dismissed us, making a loud buzz of conversation fill my ears.

i turned to Tatum "detentions with miss parry are fun, she's never even in the room" i giggle. she agreed and followed me out of english class as we made our way to lunch break.

"what are you doing for the project gray?"

"no idea, will prolly come up w something at 2am on thursday morning, work on it till 6am, come to school and sleep at the back of mr emmonds math class"

"graysonnnn" tate groaned

"what's she up to now?" kai said as he joined us from walking out of bio, on our walk down the hallway.

"nothing" i cut in

"Gray, you better not be hooking up with Paris again"

"yo that's none of your business. and besides, why not? she's cute"

"because you always say you want something serious with somebody and you can't do that if you keep hooking up with girls"

i roll my eyes and sigh, completely ignoring what kai had said to me.

we carried on walking until we reached the cafeteria. i fucking hate lunch breaks. usually that's everyone's favourite part of the day but i hate it. not to be like 'pick me! i'm not like other girls' but i'm actually not like other girls.

lunch break sucks ass, all i do it sit in the cafeteria zoning out for 45 minutes while i have the background noise of my friends talking shit about who knows what, only zoning back in to to give my strong opinions on things that no one else cares about.

we found our table and took our seats. i must have had the same seat in the cafeteria since i started here years ago.

i turned around to see a group of people follow one person in. i didn't have to figure out who it was, everyone new. it was the one and only -billie eilish.

i watched as she sat up on top of the table, her legs spread wide with her upper body leant over, her arms resting on her lower thighs. the group of girls surrounded her, twisting they dead end, dry ass hair around theirs manicured fingers.

what the fuck-
ew.

billie.

i observed her closely, as i do quite often. her asshole demeanour was a front, if you watched her long enough, stared at her eyes long enough, you could see through the cracks of her badass facade and into something much more complicated.

her gold grill placed on her bottom set of teeth sparkled when she spoke, her chains sat perfectly around her neck falling nicely onto her chest. she brought her hands up to her head to fix her black beanie before dropping her hand to her lap, adjusting the many rings on her fingers.

every once in a while she would cock her head back to laugh at someone someone said. once her head found it natural place again she broke character for a second. her eyes looking heavy.

after a few minutes everything felt off. almost not real. like i was dreaming, but not the good kind.

suddenly a wave of anxiety flew across me.
i began to feel sick and my heart started racing, tatum noticed as soon as my leg started bouncing up and down and my head dropped to look at my hands that were sitting in my lap.

"yo Grayson? you good?"

i felt myself go a little dizzy

"nah uh"