We struggle Together

25

TW
-self harm
-suicidal thoughts
-almost attempted suicide
(George's pov)

Once clay left my room I put all the stuff animals down and walked over to my suitcase and grabbed a small box out of it. When I opened it I quickly grabbed my razor blade before closing the lid again before walking to the bathroom.

Once I was in the bathroom I locked the door before sitting down on ground. I rolled up my sleeve and looked at my cuts, I was a week and a half clean because of everything that happen with my fathers trial and then Clay and his mom finding out about all of it.

I brought the blade down onto my wrist and started moving it across my arm. I kept naming a reason why I deserved this.

'You're a burden' two cuts

'Your fat' three cuts

'You deserve every fucked up thing that has happened to you' four cuts

'No one will miss you when your dead' five cuts

'Clay hates your guts because of your mental health" six cuts.

I kept naming reasons why I was cutting and after a while I ended up losing control and when I looked at my arm again there could have been thirty or more cuts and my arm was covered in blood. I quickly stood up and grabbed a rag so the blood wouldn't get on anything but it wasn't helping.

I turned on the faucet to hot water and let it just run over the cuts completely, "Shit" I whispered as I wiped some of the blood off will water still ran over the cuts.

I heard a knock on the door, "George are you in there" I hear Clay's mom ask, "Yea I am miss" I said back to her, "Are you alright honey" she asked and that's when my heart dropped I couldn't hide this right now. I unlocked the door and she walked in but when she came in she covered her mouth.

She quickly closed and locked the door before she came to my side and helped me clean the cuts, "Oh your poor thing, come on this water is too hot this isn't helping it's just making the pain worst" she said as she turned off the hot water and turned on the cold water. "The hot water helps me tho" I said to her.

"Honey that is t helping anything, it irritates the cuts and will bring more pain, cold water helped get the bleeding to stop or it helps lighten the bleeding" she said. I nodded my head as she grabbed a new rag and wet it with water before grabbing my arm gently and wiping the blood away, her eyes filled will tears once she saw all the other cuts too.

"How long have you self harmed" she asked me as she was still wiping blood off my arm, "Three months I think" I said back to her. "Does anyone know about this" she asked me which I nodded my head, "Niki and Nick" is all I said back to her, "So Clay doesn't know" she said as she went into the cabinet and grabbed bandage.

I nodded my head as she wiped the blood away one more time and wrapped my arm with the bandage, "I don't want him to think differently of me" I said now crying again. "Honey he won't think differently of you, he cares to much about you to do that" she said hugging me after she finished with the bandage. I hugged her back with my good arm, "Yea but this is way more serious then anything else that has happened" I said to her.

"George honey your well-being is the most important thing to that boy, I don't have enough fingers to count how many times he has came home and told me he was worried about you" she said. I didn't expect to hear that, I didn't think Clay would care that much about me especially when we first met.

After we talked a bit more I convinced her not to tel anyone about me self harming and I just went back to my room and grabbed my phone and saw I had a miss call from my mom. I quickly called her back and she answered quickly, "George how have you been" she asked me. "I'm good mom how are you" I asked her, "I'm good, I sold the house and I'm now in an apartment and thought you would like to come and decorate your room" she said.

"Yea I can I can send you my address right now so you can come pick me up" I said to her, "Okay, are you going to stay with me or where you're at now" she asked me. "I'll stay with you again, I'm guessing you heard about what happened with dad" I said to her, "Yea I did and I'm sorry that happened to you honey" she said to me. "It wasn't your fault he just wasn't right in the head" I said back to her.

"Your right honey he wasn't right in the head, do you know how long he had" she asked me, "Clay's dad was talking about life in prison because all he did" I told her, "He honestly deserves life for what he did to you and me" she said and I nodded my head, "Okay mom I'll see you later, bye love you" I said, "Love you honey see you soon" she said.

I smiled as I put my phone down and then Clay walked into my room, "What are you doing" he asked as he sat down beside me on the bed, "My mom called me, she has her own place now and I'm going to go stay with her now" I told him. He nodded his head as he hugged me, "I'll help you pack but I also want to say that I'm happy to see you happy" he said.

I hugged him back as I laid my head against his chest, "You make me happy" I whispered quietly so he couldn't hear me, "What did you say Gogy" he asked me, "Nothing, I didn't say anything" I said back to him. He playfully pushed me off of him and stood up and held his hand out to me, "Come on we need to get you packed" he said. I smiled as I took his hand and we got my stuff packed, I grabbed the black box I kept my blade in and quickly walked to the bathroom and grabbed my blade off the ground and put it back in the box.

I grabbed my phone and sent my mom Clay's address, I just hugged Clay as we waited for my mom to get here.

Words 1138

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