𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐲

chapter 26

WARNING: Panic attack, there's so much angst in this chapter it's not even funny

Once the talent show is over people start getting up, either to head back to their tents or continue staying outside for the rest of the evening. You immediately walk off in search for Seojun, your sadness from earlier now completely forgotten - you just feel so happy after finally being able to overcome your fears, and the first person you want to share that wonderful feeling with is your best friend.

Seojun walks along the path after one of his classmates tells him they'd seen you going in that direction, looking for you as well. Not only was it his first time hearing you sing, he also knows how much it means to you. He's well aware of how insecure you are of it, so he immediately sets off to find you after the talent show is over. He just wants to give his best friend a hug and tell her how incredibly proud he is.

While he's looking around for you, however, he passes Jugyeong and notices that she's crying. He knows he can't just leave her alone in that state, so after hesitating for a few moments he sighs and approaches her.

You finally spot Seojun after walking along the pathway for a while and move to walk over to him, but you freeze in your footsteps when you see that he's not alone. You watch as he walks over and crouches in front of Jugyeong, who looks like she's crying. He cups her cheeks and wipes her tears, and your smile drops as you take a few steps back.

You watch the exchange with a heavy heart, feeling yourself start to tremble as tears run down your own cheeks. What breaks your heart is the way he looks at her - you can just tell from the way he's looking at her, how strong his feelings must be.

You turn around and move to walk away while wiping your tears - which proves to be useless because new ones replace them almost instantly - but falter when you see Suho standing in front of you. He looks at you worriedly when he notices how broken you clearly look, and takes a step towards you. Seeing you cry worries him; In all the time you had been friends, he had never seen you cry before.

You were always the kind and bubbly friend who took care of others and wished him a good morning whenever you saw him, or constantly checked up to see how he was doing. He really sees you as one of his closest friends, so seeing you in this state honestly terrifies him - you look so broken and fragile. Suho moves closer with the intention of comforting you, but you immediately step back in panic.

You rarely ever cry, so you don't want anybody to have to see you like that, and you can also sense another panic attack coming on. You feel yourself start to become overwhelmed while your breathing quickens, and when you realise that you won't be able to stop it you immediately know that you need to get away. Suho takes another step towards you but you run in the opposite direction, not giving him the chance to reach for you.

Once you've disappeared he looks over and realises what you had been looking at, his gaze hardening at the sight of Jugyeong with Seojun. He watches as Jugyeong walks away, and Seojun stands there dejectedly before making eye contact with an angry Suho. He's glaring at Seojun, not only for being with the girl he likes, but also for clearly being the reason behind your tears.

You run through the forest as fast as you can, not even knowing where to go but just wanting to get as far away from Seojun - and your feelings - as possible. You feel your breathing quicken and eventually it becomes so bad that your vision starts to blur, and you don't notice the dip in the path until you're stumbling to the ground.

Your hands and knees are stinging and you know they're definitely scraped, possibly bleeding, but all you can do is just grab your head as the feelings start to become too overwhelming to handle. You don't notice how close you had actually gotten to the camping grounds through all your distress, all you can think about is the fact that you know this panic attack will be bad.

It's been a while since you last had a panic attack this bad, and the thought of going through it on your own terrifies you. The fear from that thought alone causes you to panic more, and eventually your whimpers turn into full-blown sobs as you gasp for breath. You desperately reach for anything to hold onto, hoping to get yourself back up, but your knees buckle and you fall to the ground again, unable to keep yourself up and losing the strength in your legs completely.

You grip your hair tightly as you try to ground yourself and catch your breath again, and just when you feel like giving up you feel a hand on your shoulder. You yelp and snap your head up in shock, only to make eye contact with your homeroom teacher who had seen you on the floor and rushed over to see if you were alright. You'd actually managed to get much closer to the camping grounds than you had realised, so he had noticed you almost immediately after exiting his tent.

He's leaning down and looking at you with worry evident in his expression, and the thought of no longer being alone gives you the support you need to finally catch your breath and calm down. He stays beside you quietly, letting you do whatever you need to do to calm yourself down.

He sees the blood on your hands and knees and quickly realises that you're hurt, so after making sure you're doing a little better he runs back to the tents to find a female teacher who can help tend to your wounds. A few moments later a female teacher is helping you stand and guiding you back to a smaller tent where the first aid equipment is located.

She quickly patches up your leg, disinfecting the wound and putting a plaster on, but you're just staring into space the entire time. Your tears are dry by this point, but she can tell that you don't want to talk so she doesn't speak. Your homeroom teacher hadn't told her anything, just that you had fallen over and needed some help, so she can't really make any other assumptions aside from the fact that you had cried from the pain.

Seojun, having spent a while walking around the area looking for you, eventually gives up and begins walking back to his tent. On his way back, however, he sees you inside one of the tents with a teacher who helps you with your injuries. He stands outside the tent when he notices, waiting for you to be finished.

You're only broken from your daze when she whispers to you that she's finished, gently grabbing your arm to help you stand with the intention of walking you back to your tent. Seojun watches you limp out of the tent with the teacher holding onto your arm, his expression a mix of worry and confusion, but she speaks up before he can ask any questions.

"Oh?" she says when she notices Seojun standing outside, "Seojun-ah, can you do me a favour and help Y/N back to her tent?" He nods instantly, reaching forward to take your arm, but you quickly swat his hand away.
"It's fine, I can go by myself."

You thank the teacher quickly and start walking away before either of them can say anything else, but you don't get very far since your leg is still hurting. Seojun bows to the teacher, as if to reassure her that he would help you, before catching up to you and grabbing your arm.

"Stop being so stubborn," he mumbles, moving your arm to place it over his shoulder so he can lift you up. You bite your lip to hide the fact that they're starting to tremble, not wanting to cry in front of him, and silence quickly falls upon the two of you. "What happened?" he asks softly.

"I tripped," you immediately respond, but he can tell from the dried tears on your face that there must be more to the story. Not wanting to upset you further, though, he just remains quiet and puts you back on the ground once you reach your tent. Sua, Soojin and Jugyeong walk out and instantly move over to help you into the tent, said girls having been worried about you since it was starting to get really late and they hadn't seen you since the talent show.

You cry yourself to sleep that night and the three girls in your tent listen with heavy hearts. They don't know what happened to you, but you clearly aren't in the right frame of mind to be talking about it so they don't pry. They don't want to upset you further by asking you about it, so all they can do is remain curious about why their usually cheery friend is suddenly so defeated.