Losing game|| Vkook

-1-

Isn't lovely?, all alone.

Heart made of glass, my mind of stone.

-Lovely

It was snowing that night, as raw as it was beautiful.

Jungkook was lying on the couch, he was exhausted, everything felt so heavy, so dense and dark. His wretched heart refused to cut the rope of the past, and his mind begged him between desperate sobs to stop rowing in something harmful. And he, he just let himself be tortured in the "what if".

What if?

What if?

What would have happened if?

What would have happened if?

The tapping on the door forced his eyes to wake up, feeling the laziness crushing down on him, he ignored the noise and closed his eyes again. However, seeing that the desperate sound did not stop, Jungkook reluctantly got up and opened the door.

"Why so much....?

Jungkook instantly fell silent, a pair of arms wrapped around him and lulled him into a cozy yet uncomfortable embrace.

"Do you know how many times I tried to call you, do you know how worried I was?, Jeon Jungkook, a year, a year without hearing from you"

Jungkook didn't know what to answer, he felt that coarse pinch of guilt in him.Since that day, the boy had moved away from everyone, he had moved away from home and changed his phone number.He didn't want to hear from anyone, anyone who reminded him of that person.

"I'm so sorry, Jin."Jin said nothing, he hugged the boy who had been like a brother to him, after a few seconds, Jungkook broke the embrace and invited him in.

They both sat on the couch, and a haze laden with opportunity and awkwardness was spreading over the room.

"Jungkook, how have you been, did you eat well?"

Jungkook stirred on the couch uncomfortably, not knowing exactly how to respond to that.

"No, I have not been well I've been fine, brother."

Jin's eyes softened as he heard that special nickname they shared.

"Kook, I want to know how you're feeling, I know what's got you like this, I know you, and because I know you I need to help you."

How do I explain to you, brother, how do I tell you in words how broken I am, how do I tell you that guilt is drowning me?

"Jin..."

"Jungkook, I want to propose something to you," I interrupted him, his worried look replaced by a serious one. "I want you to go to Seoul with me."

Jungkook's mind stopped working, his breath escaped for a few seconds, and came back after analyzing Jin's proposal.

Leave, he thought, leave Busan and go?

"Kook...", said Jin, while he took his brother's hands, hugging them "I want you to leave everything behind, to start over, don't do it for me, do it for you, for your health."

The boy did not know what to do, he felt crushed by the confusion and the overwhelming feeling of running away, to leave Busan, to leave his past would be to cut that thick thread of guilt that torments him and haunts him every day. It would be to leave the memory of that person who taught him to love, to fly and lull himself in the clouds, but who also taught him to fall and destroy himself against the concrete.

"Jin, I'll think about it." he said to her, hesitating.

* * *

Two months had passed, Jungkook was unsure of the decision he was about to make. That day, Jin suggested that when he was ready, he should contact him and meet him at his father's cafeteria, trying to calm his breathing, he looked at himself in the mirror.

Where is Jungkook, where are you? he asked himself, looking at his melancholy reflection.

Where are you?

Where are you?

Where are you?

He tried to sweep his thoughts away, and got ready to meet in that cafeteria.

Jin was waiting for him sitting at the back table. His honey hair was tousled and he was wearing a beige coat. At the table, Jungkook spotted a red sweet bean ice cream. He smiled to himself, knowing that his brother had taken the time to pick out his favorite ice cream.

"Hi Jin," he said, sitting down on the chair in front.

The named one looked up, and gave him a sly smile.

"So, have you decided yet Kook?"

Jungkook nodded, and trying to relax his tense muscles, replied.

To say Jungkook was nervous was an understatement, he was terrified.

When he decided to agree to Jin's proposal, everything seemed safe, welcoming.When he started packing, all that security was peeling away.It wasn't until two weeks later, when he arrived at the airport, that he felt the urge to run away.Nothing about that decision seemed right.

But he made up his mind for once in a long time to go straight. Jungkook got out of the cab, giving a bow to the driver, along with a small thank you. Swallowing his breath, he spotted the airport gates.

And for the last time, he turned back to the road, seeing Park Jimin's silhouette appear as quickly as he left.