TCW Angstpril Prompts

Let the Silence Stay Silent

Day 2 alternate prompts: visiting a grave + "I'm sorry"

"We've arrived."

Ahsoka stepped out of the Y-Wing, Rex trailing after her as the cockpit lights shut down. They trudged through the gravelly snow, their feet tossing up rocks and permafrost of the unnamed planet. A convor flew overhead, it's green and cream-colored feathers visible against the grey sky, a caw echoing throughout the emptiness.

It was silent as the pair walked side by side, none of them sparking a conversation. The planet just didn't seem to call for it, like it was meant to be like this, the sound of Ahsoka's white cloak billowing behind her rippling through the quiet. If someone had spoken, the haunted tranquility would seemingly crack, as if the eeriness would overtake them if they broke it.

They kept walking until they stopped several feet away from a crash site, the wreckage sprouting hundreds of feet above the ground. Plates of durasteel were scattered around the starship, and the pair could make out some bumps against the bedding of the snow.

The man looked towards Ahsoka, a concerned glance tossed her way. He had wanted to come here after the togruta had told him everything, but ever since their ship entered the atmosphere, the sense of dread residing within himself seemed to grow.

He knew that the woman beside him went through so much trauma here, and he didn't want to drag her back to that if he could. He could already see her blank stare looking onto the sight in front of them, and the telltale shimmer of tears in her eyes.

"Comman-Ahsoka, you don't have to come with me."

Ahsoka didn't look at him as she spoke, not even blinking as a tear dripped onto her cheek.

"I have to. I have to do this, Kix."

For them.

He nodded, staying silent, and Ahsoka moved towards the ruined Venator with the convor now resting on the staff she had brought with her. She didn't look back as he stared after her, and he noticed her gaze sweep over the helmets before she moved on again.

He also noted that her grip tightened around her staff, the convor perching above hooting in what seemed like comfort.

His limbs seemed to weigh heavier and heavier as he moved closer, finally seeing that the pieces half-buried into the ground were helmets.

Clone helmets.

There were so many of them.

He recalled the moment when Ahsoka told him about Order 66, and how it controlled the clones, his brothers, taking away their free will.

He also remembered the whirlwind of emotions he felt when he realized that he had been too late...for everything.

He had discovered what Fives had seen, the conspiracy plan against the Jedi, only to be taken away and shoved into a stasis chamber, put asleep for the galaxy to pass by. He could've saved so many Jedi, so many of his vode, saved Jesse-

Jesse.

Jesse. His batchmate. His best friend.

He sprinted through the snow, desperate to find a blue in the sea of orange and white. Ahsoka had told him about his brother's final moments, about his last-minute promotion and roboticness, and Kix kept running until-

There it was.

His helmet was right there. Coincidence or not, the Republic cog immediately clicked in his mind, the dark blue stripes reminding him of the time Jesse had finished his ARC training, coming home with upgrades and a grin on his face.

"Jesse?"

He slowly knelt down as he picked it up, his hand shakily wiping off the visor, the snow dropping at his feet. Dark red blood and dirt stains covered it, long dried up, and Kix turned it around, his hand running over every groove and scratch that just seemed to make up Jesse.

His vision blurred and before he knew it, his knees hit the ground as he tried to keep his shudders in, tears now fogging up his eyes.

He didn't stop them as they ran down his cheeks, the icy cold biting at his face.

He had lost so many brothers during the Clone Wars, and being a medic meant that he had to watch them die. He was rusty in that practice, and just gazing at the graves in front of him made him want to curl up and never open his eyes.

(There were so many dead here, but if a battalion was this big, then the gravesite might as well take up the whole planet if every single clone trooper had a resting place of their own)

He could have saved them from this fate.

He felt sick and bile rose up to his throat before he forced it down, his fists now clenched around the helmet.

"I-I'm so sorry, vode."

Kix's apology seemed to echo throughout the cemetery, and he brought Jesse's helmet to his forehead, his eyes closing as he finally gave in to his grief.

The helmets silently watched him through empty visors.

As he and Ahsoka left the site, every single found bucket was left where it was, Jesse's buried in the very front where it had belonged.

(The sounds of mourning still seemed to coat the area, but no one acknowledged it)

If they had staked the helmets again it would've felt like a disturbance to the peace that nature had provided them.

Neither Kix nor Ahsoka looked back as they left the planet, knowing they had to live on for their vode.

For their fallen brothers.