Candy | Jinkook ✓

Jinkook 10.0

Honestly he didn't think he could take another disappointment. Getting so close only to find out none of it had been real, like it was all some cosmic joke the universe had decided to play simply because he didn't know any better.

Life was unfair and there were no happy endings. He knew that. He was naïve, not stupid.

Or maybe he was that too, considering the current situation he had found himself in. Sitting there, snapping sad pictures of himself, looking like a lost, love sick bunny and then using them as bait, the metaphorical dangling carrot that should have been meant for him but wasn't. Would Seokjin even see it? Would he even understand it?

Would he take it for the confession it was, the only way he was ever going to be brave enough to say even a faction of what was in his heart? Or would he not even pay attention, not catching on until after it was already too late?

Another foolish, ridiculously hopeful decision that was only going to lead him to his own heartbreak. And he prayed that the fall wouldn't ruin him completely. Leave some part of him in tact so that he could move on. So that he could learn how to be happy all over again.

...

He tried to focus on the things he could control.

How his hair looked - which was perfect. There wasn't a single strand out of place, having been put back to it's original dark shade, sweeping across his forehead and framing his eyes. How he outfit looked - which was also perfect. A loose, cotton button up that clung to his skin when he shifted just right, left open at the top to show off his protruding collar bones. Black pants that were honestly too tight to be called dressy, hugging the soft flares of his hips and the curve of his ass.

Little bits of makeup that were so subtle he was certain no one could even tell they were there. Just enough to even out his skin tone and make him appear dewy and fresh. A little bit of balm on his lips to make them look pink and slightly swollen.

He looked good. Knew that he did. Checked himself over in the mirror endlessly until there was nothing else he could possibly mess with.

He had been half way out the door when the realization that he'd forgotten his phone came into his mind and he turned back to retrieve it, hoping he'd still have enough time to beat Jungkook's arrival and be downstairs by the time he got there.

It wasn't that he was ashamed of his apartment. At least he never had been. Once upon a time he had been a little sixteen year old kid struggling to make enough per week to rent a hotel room. Finding this place had seemed like a miracle, the one stroke of luck in his entire misguided life.

But compared to Jungkook's place? It probably resembled a shoe box, and all of the things within it nothing more than miniature versions of what was supposed to be. Like some grade school art project that had been completed at the last minute.

But he wanted his phone.

So he turned back. Burst through the front door and practically ran through the apartment until he could swipe it from where it lay on top of the tiny side table next to his bed. Walked back through far more calmly after he caught sight of the time, swiping it open and inputting the lock code, idly thumbing through notifications and his feed as he went.

Nothing interesting. Hoseok had gotten new shoes. Taehyung was apparently going to drown the sorrows created by finding out he couldn't have everything he wanted by hitting the clubs with Jimin. Yoongi posted something about needing to find a new line of work. Jungkook had -

He couldn't with this boy anymore. He just couldn't.

Please let this be real.

It was, he wanted to scream. Shout it up to heavens and make the world understand how real this all was.

Please love me.

Did he love Jungkook? Was he even capable of loving someone like that? Were there even enough pieces left of his heart to give to someone?

Did it matter? Even if all he had was a single, broken and battered sliver, he would give it to Jungkook. Would hand it over willingly and allow him to do whatever he wanted with it.

Was he even going to make it through all of this without letting the truth just slip out?

What was the truth? That he was suddenly Jungkook's just because he had made the decision to terminate their contract? That he expected for them to just fall into each other's arms and become something else, something different and real and terrifying all at once?

What if he had been wrong? What if -

But those words replayed within his mind, and he could hear them so clearly being spoken in the other's voice.

Please let this be real. Please love me.

He already did.