My mind has taken over me
my mind makes me think things I don't wanna think
my mind makes me wake up in the middle night wishing I wasn't alive
my mind makes me stare in the mirror for hours asking why?
why do I look like this why am I like this
my mind has all the control over what I do now my mind is not my friend
it used to be my friend when I didn't tell me things I know we're true just scared to admit
no one knows exactly they just know that I like to cook a lot
they think everything is normal
saying wow you're actually trying to do something with your life
I often feel pressured to eat with all the food going around
even though my mind makes me feel like I shouldn't eat
like I'm only pretty when I'm hungry so I starve myself
my mind makes me feel like I'm never gonna be good enough
when people ask why I don't eat I make up some excuse like I'm not hungry, I already ate,
I feel sick people ask me if I'm okay
the only answers they get back are
yeah why or yeah I'm just tired
They ask if I've eaten recently
I say yes when I haven't
I only say yes because I don't know how long it's been
I don't want people to know that because then people start treating you differently
like you're just a sick person who starves themself
YOU ARE READING
the brokenness
Poetrymy poetry from over the years tw: mention of self harm, eating disorder, and rape
