Am I normal?

Wrong Decisions

To be honest I want my life to be a good one. Where I'm occupied with my family, friends and my loving boyfriend you know. The partying, drinking and making out. And regretting all that shit. Weird huh?
But really who doesn't want to have a good life?

I'm a big girl now well not that big but yeah I want to have fun. It's a pity I can't have that because most African parents have this issue with 'having fun' they say that fun is cursed and when you are having fun you tend to make wrong decisions. I just don't get it, really I don't.
So can I have fun?

Well my friend Sips is having a party tomorrow and for the first time in like forever I'm invited. I feel like crying because this is a lifetime opportunity. Okay let me balance you all huh.. So I'm that kinda girl you know. The one that chooses people, hates herself, doesn't go out, always having excuses when there's some champagne popping out there. Not that I hate that kinda life 😞thing is I'm scared and I feel like if I start partying and stuff I'll never stop because obviously I'll be tasting freedom something that is very hard to obtain in this world of mine.

Buuut hey! I'm going to that party tomorrow and I don't care if I'll be cursed for having fun because oh baby I'm gonna have a blast.
Ughh I'm lying the party is going to blast me. I don't even have an outfit. All my clothes are so old fashioned. I hate myself!!!! And my wardrobe.