Nothing but shards

the houseparty

I don't know how long I must have been crying when Charlie suddenly appeared in the living room. He must have gone to get his granola cookies for his friends because he was holding a plate full of them until a minute ago. He must have dropped the plate as soon as he noticed me and it shattered into a thousand pieces. Bryce and the other boys cringed. "Man, St. George, can't you be careful," Walker replied as he bent down to pick up the coarsest shards from the floor.

Charlie, however, dropped everything and instead came up to me to give me a hug.His hugs were golden. He patted my head and back a little with different hands. Then he pulled me into the hallway where neither Bryce, Luke nor Monty could see us. "Why are you crying,Charlet? Did the boys do something to you?" He pointed with his hand behind him where the boys should be "You just have to tell me and I'll send them away. My sister's well-being comes first"

Now that Charlie has made friends so quickly at the new school, I certainly won't destroy his image of them. I will grit my teeth and not cry about Bryce or Monty, as much as it hurts. But what else did I expect? Did I expect this to be like a film? My life is not a film, it is reality. I shook my head "those boys didn't do anything to me, you chose the right friends" I lied without any guilt "Charlie, you won't be able to protect me 24/7. You'll get exhausted sometime. That's just the way it is"

Charlie looked at me with his special look. I really didn't want him to worry just because of what some Montgomery de La Cruz said. I just wanted to go upstairs, snuggle into his jacket that still smelled like him and just cry. Shed tears like there was no end to it. "Then why were you crying, Charlet?" he crossed his arms in front of his chest. I shrug my shoulders "I don't know,Charlie. I don't know why I was crying. It won't be anything. Probably just some mood swings because of the one woman problem"

I knew that if I mentioned the woman problem, he wouldn't ask again. Since our mother died, I don't really talk about it with anyone except my friends. He frowned a little at the thought "If it's nothing else, I can go back" I nodded "By the way, I cooked today. Why don't you have some when you go into the kitchen? I mean it's reasonably edible" he jokes and walks down the corridor back to the living room.

I almost ran up the stairs to my room again, but not as hysterically as a few hours ago, more torn down. I don't even know if Bryce and the others noticed me. Hopefully not

I still wanted to cry, so I did. Here I was undisturbed. I could cry as much as I wanted, hammer my pillow against my face or just cuddle up with Monty's jacket as if he were with me. Just as I had imagined. A typical happy ending.

Suddenly there was a knock on the door and I had no idea who it could be. I wiped tears from my face even though I knew that my blurred mascara showed that I had been crying. Just before I was about to open the door, it opened on its own. It was my father standing in the doorway with a tray full of goodies in his hands which he placed on the desk next to the door "Your brother said it was time again" My father shrugged "It was his idea to bring you a candy dream. You have a great brother" "And a great dad" I replied with a slight smile.

He smiled back and was about to turn to leave, but I held him back. "Dad? Can I ask you something?" "Always, sweetheart. Shoot." I pointed to the edge of the bed for him to sit down and he looked at me eagerly. "Dad, I know this is something I would have discussed with Mum" I breathed in and out again as I stared at the bedspread on my bed for a brief minute and then pulled myself back together. "But I wanted to ask if you've ever had anything like heartbreak? That is, that a boy, in your case a girl, has hurt you very badly with something that she or he has said?"

My father eyed me a little, "So that's why you're crying, honey? You don't have the girl problems, do you?" He sees the football jacket on my lap and immediately understands what's going on. I find it amazing what this man can do. I nod once for both questions, "Yeah, but dad, you didn't answer my question. Have you ever had this before? Because I feel so alone like no one understands me. It hurts. I don't know what to do"