Is this really love? -sinja

follow you no matter what

"I follow you everywhere."
Those were once my words, that starry night.
Because no matter which way he would go or how many people he will use for his purposes, i swore, i always would stay by his side.
Ever since Sinbad saved me and put me on the right path, I already knew it -
I would be loyal to him for the rest of my life.

There was silence.
We both just stood there, looking up at the night sky.
The cool wind tore at my clothes, but it was not cold.
I enjoyed this moment, even if we were not talking.
I just felt good around him.
The moments, we were alone together, just the two of us, were special to me.

"Ja'far"
The ruler of Sindria suddenly broke the silence.
My eyes turned to my beloved king.
Yes my 𝑏𝑒𝑙𝑜𝑣𝑒𝑑.
A long time before, I bacame aware of that I had special feelings for the conqueror of the seven seas.
I always thought, it was my deep attachment and admiration for him, as my king and safer.
I always looked up to him, but this was more than respect and love for a friend.
It was way deeper and more demanding - at least it felt like it.
Over the years, these oppressive feelings had grown stronger, I was not able to ignore them, as hard as i wanted to try.
There was no choice - i had to suppress them - even if it meant denying myself - lying to myself.
Apart from how afraid I was of even imagining how very problematic it would be, Sin would never reciprocate these feelings.
Sinbad the lady killer, the man which could not have been straighter.
However, it would only bothering him, besides that, I would never dare to confess.
It was not right to have this feeling for him.
I was very aware of that, but i could not help myself.
I admired and loved this person with all my heart.

Sinbad turned to me.
The moonlight made the handsome man look even more attractive.
I eyed him, my Arms tucked into my sleeves.

"Let's drink together, just the two of us. "

I narrowed my eyes in doubt.
"Actually, I wanted to withdraw now, I still have a lot of paperwork to do."

"Then I order you as your king to accompany me, you said you will follow me everywhere, didn't you?"
He gave me a cheeky smile, knowing exactly how to tease me.

I glanced to the side, avoiding his gaze.
"Sin, I didn't meant it in that way and you know that..."

The purple haired man just laughed.
"C'mon, otherwise you overwork yourself, just enjoy the night with me."

It was hopeless to argue with him, I knew that so I gave in.
𝘑𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘰𝘯𝘤𝘦.

We went to the bar together.
The festival was still in full swing.
It was loud.
People enjoyed themselves with dance, alcohol and music.
I sighed when I ordered a drink.
Why again, had I let myself be persuaded?

Sinbad and me had a lot to discuss about.
We talked about Sindria, the Kō-empire and the kids; especially about the Magi - until our normal, serious conversations, slowly turned into some kind nonsense-talk, since Sinbad was getting more and more drunk.
I myself felt, that it was already enough but as I knew my king and friend, he would only stop when he was rat-arsed.

"Sin, you should stop drinking..."
Worried i looked at my fellow best friend.

"It's alright Jaf- *hiccup* far, this is my *hiccup* last-"

Suddenly, we were unintentionally interrupted by Sharrkan, who sat down next to me with a woman in his arms.
He was completely drunk.
"Oiii Siiinn and Jafaaar, what's goin' onn~"

I tried to move a bit away from him because he smelled bad of alcohol.

"Who is that pretty girl by your side?"
Sinbad responded smirking.

"Ah this cute thing! I'm honest, i only took her with me to make Yamuraiha jealous but psssht~" he giggled akwardly.

"What?!"
Hissed the girl, glaring at the male who in response just pulled her tighter to him.

"Is that really a good idea?" I asked in disbelief, rising an eyebrow.

"Urgh Jafar *ciccup* when do you finally get a woman?"
The drunk male asked mocking.

I lowered my gaze to my drink, not sure how to answer.
I could not tell him, that I was not interested in women at all.
That would just sound weird and knowing the swordsman, he would questioning it.

Even worse, drunk Sinbad put an arm around me and grinned broadly.
"No problem, he has me, right? *hiccup*"

I blushed instantly.
"S-S-Sin! Get away, your breath smells!"
I pushed him away.
Did he had to come so close to me?

He just laughed dumb and at this point,
I knew I had already enough.
"If you may excuse me now."
I stood up and left the two drunk idiots behind me.
Still, I could hear Sinbad whine my name, before I finally dragged myself to my room.
I was so tired.
A long breath escaped my mouth, when my numb body finally lay on my bed.
At this very moment, it became painfully undeniable to me, how urgently I needed some sleep.
After i closed my eyes, i could not otherwise but think about Sinbad.

By all holy mights,
why must i have feelings for this dumb king?
This stupid, great, lovable King...
Sadness spread inside me.
I buried my face into my pillow, holding in my breath.
I had to pull myself together.
No! I just did not had the right to think of him in that way!
Despite a tough while, I finally succeeded to fall asleep, due to the many hours loss of needed rest my body desperately cried out for.
My tiredness did not allowed me to engage in depressive trains of thoughts - and i was truly welcoming it.

short cap, yea the next coming soon, i hope u enjoyed it! :3