𝐂𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐈𝐕𝐀𝐓𝐄𝐃 || 𝐁𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐞 𝐄𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐡 𝐀𝐔

Chapter Thirty-Three

Elle

I scream as I slam the door to my room, hot tears running down my face as I go into my bathroom rummaging under my sink until I find the object I'm looking for.

I deserve this. I deserve everything.

The voice in my head tells me. I sob as I put the blade to my skin. I don't wanna do it, I was so close to being a month clean but it feels like someone just ripped out my heart and I can't stand it. I need a distraction. I deserve this anyways.

"Ellie?"

I suddenly snap my head around to see Billie coming through my window. She's been doing this little random check ins with me since we started dating. Usually I would just be on my phone or doing homework when she does them.

"Uh Billie, what are you—how-how long were you standing there?" I ask in shock that she caught me about to hurt myself.

"Long enough. Give me that." She walks up to me and takes the razor from me, putting it in her pocket.

I cry as I shake my head in shame.
"I'm sorry Billie, I just-I-I can't—"

"Shh baby, it's alright I'm not mad. What's wrong mama?"

I went to speak but all that came out was a sob as I covered my mouth and fell into her arms. I don't think I've ever cried this much over a fight with my mom before.

Normally I don't care but this time she said something that was completely uncalled for.

"Shhh, it's alright my love. I'm here." Billie comforted as she rubbed my back. "What happened this time?" She asked.

"What?"

"I heard you scream before I came up. I'm guessing something happened with your mom, so what happened?" She asked, wiping away my stream of tears.

"Umm my mom went through my phone while I was in the shower. Usually I take it with me but I had to charge it. When I got out it was gone and I knew she took it so I confronted her about it and she just started screaming at me cause she had went through our messages. She found out everything, Billie. That I lied about me going to Alexis' house and our friendship, everything and she found out that we're dating. She called me a disgrace and a faggot and countless other names. Then she umm..."
I paused, still not believing what she had said to me.

"She uhh she...she told me that she wished she never had me." My voice cracked as I completely broke down again.

Billie's face changes from concern to anger and then back as she sighs.

"Oh baby come here." Billie pulls me into her arms. Holding me tightly. I think I cried harder than I ever have before.

"I mean I always knew she didn't love me but hearing it from her hurt a lot more than I thought it would." I cried.

"I'm so sorry my love. You really don't deserve this."

"Maybe I do. Maybe in a past life I was some evil tyrant or some bullshit."

"Elle stop it. No one deserves to be treated like this. Some people just aren't made out to be parents and your mother is one of them."

"God my own mother doesn't even want me. Hell she doesn't even fucking like me, how can anyone else. How can you?" I look up at her as she looks at me with hurt written all over her face.

"Hey listen to me, don't let her get in your head. You know how I love you." She says, and we both freeze.

My eyes go wide as her jaw drops and we both back away from each other in shock.