ELBINA 3

Chapter 4

"Lights out."
Her hand flicks the switch at the side of the door and I only roll back over, so I don't have to see her.
The bed feels damp, sticky and dirty under the palm of my hand from last night's nightmare. The entire room stinks of sweat and staleness but thankfully, even though Susu pauses at the door, it closes after a few more moments.
The door clicking into place, the lock sounding as a final ending to the day. And it would be my final day, I was sure of it, at least in this place.
From the moment the room plunges into darkness and the sounds of her footsteps are fading away, I flip myself over, reaching a hand underneath the bed. My hand manages to grasp at the bag I snatched on the way to the shower, the only time I get away from this room.
It only takes me a few moments to grab a few things, fumbling through the room but remembering where everything was exactly. Because what else was I supposed to do with my time?
"You don't need it." I mumble to myself, now that my hand passes over the desk. My hand itching for the bottle hidden within the drawer, it's stupid really.
Because it wasn't a problem.
I didn't NEED it, I could live without it.
I just choose to live with it, it's a decision.
Dad's dependency wasn't a decision, he was addicted.
I'm not though, I wouldn't be because I know what that can lead to. So it would be stupid for me to go down the same rabbit hole, I knew better.
Before I think anything more on it, I slip it into the bag.
I had space after all, and I probably wouldn't even drink any of it. I had too much to think about anyway that it would probably slip my mind that it was even in there.
Through the quiet dark, I manoeuvre the chair along the floor, till it hits the door and I can hitch the edge of it underneath the handle. Once I'm satisfied, jolting the handle a little to check, I turn back to the bed, jumping on top of it and feeling the small handle of the window.
I'd figured a while ago that they hadn't checked this, given we were on the first floor, they probably didn't expect me to be desperate enough to jump from the window.
But I'm desperate now.
And so it feels weird when the brisk cold night air rushes over my cheeks once the window is cinched open. It'll be a tight fit, but I can do it.
If they could see me or hear me doing any of this, then they haven't made it known to me. I look back into the room having managed to manipulate my way through the window, so now I'm hanging on the other side. I don't hear anything from inside or coming from the hallway.
No flicking of the door handle, but now I'm sweating from the exertion of holding myself up.
It's further then I imagined,
A rumble of fear simmers painfully in my stomach as my eyes flick back over my shoulder at the dark alley below me, the sight of an amber streetlight not far off in the main street.
But all that's below me is dark, and without the moon out. There's barely any light hitting the concrete below, so it feels like an abyss just waiting for me down there.
I can't hold it much longer.
So I suck in one last breath and I let go –
"Shit." I hissed out, it came so quick that my knees buckled beneath me and they slammed into the concrete.
I lean forward, pressing my head against the wall as some form of distraction from the stabbing pain travelling up my legs to my spine.
Holy crap, that hurt like hell.
Breathe-
One
Two
Three
Breathe.
It takes a couple more seconds until I'm finally feeling the surge of pain dissipate, the stabbing sensation forming a throbbing in replacement.
But I'm out, I look around at the cold damp darkness around me.
It's march now, but it's still bitter cold in the nights that my hands feel it and my breaths come out with a wisp of white against the brief light from the street.
I'm actually out.
I finally manage to claw myself back upwards before trudging along the road, trying to walk through the pain but feeling it ease the more I walk.
There's a whole street of houses along the lit road, all quiet and dull.
Built the exact same, just a continual line of the same bricks and the same windows. So that the people who may live inside, they don't resemble individual people anymore, they don't have their own lives. They're all the same, assume the same type of job, assume the same sort of life.
It's easy to forget that there are real lives behind those doors, that they aren't just all lumped into the population of this street. Even if that's how the government saw it anyway, the working class, the middle class.
A collection of people with their own problems, but they'll be lumped together despite everything going on so all their fears and worries are insignificant. As I walked past one, a couple sat together on the sofa, arguing over something.
Maybe the government's right after all, you can't stop everything for just one person's problems. We all have to be lumped into different groups at some point, we're all insignificant in the grand scheme of things.
She grabs the remote from his upstretched hand, clambering all over him in a flurry of frustration, her face scrunched up in concentration and his face scowling down at her.
Even if I saw the flicker of humour in their eyes,
I'm probably staring too much,
I walk on a little faster.
Cause maybe I'm insignificant in the world, but I don't believe I'm nothing at all.
I'm something, to someone.
To dad.
To Ella, maybe.
The streetlights fade away as the village is left behind me, my legs are easier to walk on and the pavements teeter off so I'm left with just the grass verge but I settle for walking down the road instead.
I'm not exactly sure I'm headed in the right direction, I'm hoping this road will lead me to a main one at some point. All I know is that I'm somewhere in the Yorkshire dales countryside.
If I get to a main road, then I can follow it.
Except I'm a little worried that I need to go faster than walking pace to get there, there wasn't a time frame that she wanted me there.
And that's even if she actually wanted me there, what if I was just assuming it? What if it wasn't a message, what if she wasn't there?
What if she didn't mean those words and that she wasn't sorry that she left me?
What if she didn't –
"Lucas!" I flick my head back, a torch passes over my head.
A massive blaring torch that has me wincing but it doesn't take me two seconds to realise who it is before I start running.
"For fuck's –" I hear her shout to herself before her slamming footsteps can be heard behind me.
No way.
No way she's stopping me from getting there.
"Lucas! Stop!" I know I'm not going to lose her on the road, even with the lights from the last of the streetlights fading out leaving us under the low glow of the moon.
With that in mind, I jump across the verge and over the ditch till I scramble through the mud, up the slope and onto the field. Flecks of white blur in my vision as the sheep run away from me, followed along with the few lambs chasing after their mothers.
I take a second to turn my head back, I can just about see her fumbling up the slope grumbling to herself even from here.
It isn't a second later till I've passed into the depths of the shed, the sheep shout at each other from the intrusion but it'll help me hide either way.
Just one thing I ask for.
For her not to follow me.
Should have known I wouldn't have got that either.
I pass through the pens, jumping over them and stumbling till I've reached the other wall. My breaths heaving through the cold and the adrenaline as I pull myself up and over it, dropping down into the darkness and the machinery.
I'm quiet enough to know that she shouldn't have heard me come over this side, especially with the chaos of sounds coming from the pens.
The sounds taper out, the occasional worried sheep lets out some noise but it's quietened down enough to hear the sounds of footsteps, crunching through the straw bed.
It had to be susu, unless of course, she brought company.
The footsteps fall silent for a moment, only the usual scuffles of agitated sheep now. Apart from that, it's silent and eerie.
Until Susu's voice echoes out from the other side of the wall. "You know where she is, don't you?"
I don't answer, of course I don't answer but I listen when she continues.
"You can't help her on your own." Another pause, "You need us."
I shake my head as if she can see me, cause I don't need them.
I don't.
What good did any of these people do when I brought them that hard drive, it didn't save anyone.
I notice the hole in the wall opposite me, through the machinery and the tools that are splayed across the shed. But the hole's big enough for me to escape through and I don't think she realises that I'm on this side yet.
There's silence from the other side now, but it's now or never. I can only hide for so long till she comes searching.
"You need to stay in hiding, if you're not in that building then you're not safe. I can't stop you being killed, I can't stop anything from happening to you outside. This is an irrational decision and you're smarter than this Lucas!"
I shake my head as I move through, edging carefully between the metal frames. Her voice echoing from the other side as it becomes more frustrated.
Is that what they said to Ella? To get her to stay.
Where did that get her? Because she was attacked in that room somehow.
"LUCAS!" Her frustrated shout bounces off the walls so I'm not entirely sure where she is. But I'm slipping out of the hole in the wall anyway, my boots etching against the exposed brick. Fragments of stone coming off along with it until I've managed to slide completely out of the shed now.
Under the moonlight I can see the expansion of the grass in front of me, presumably for the sheep to move into at some point because it looked as if it had been untouched in some time. I don't think too much about it, I just start running.
My bag jostles against my back in the quiet night, my feet digging into the soft ground below as I propel myself forwards to the opposite side of this field and towards the small section of trees that line it.
Where the moonlight won't penetrate and I'll be able to lose Susu in the overgrowth.
Cause I didn't want to be sitting and waiting for whoever attacked Ella, to come for me to. And she clearly wanted me out of there, she knew something that I didn't and that's why she broke the silence after these three months.
Whatever she knew was more important than keeping me out of it now.
Suddenly I can see someone in the corner of my eye, coming from another side of the field and heading right for me. Shaking my head I push harder, hoping I can lose them in the trees.
But I don't get that because they gain on me too fast before they've tackled me, forcing me into the ground. Our limbs just piled together in the fall so I can't figure out how to un-trap myself from him and get out.
He lets out a groan of pain when I manage to land a punch into his face, his fist tightening their hold on my jacket. It causes him to lift off of me partly, enough so I can lodge a knee between us and push him back even further and off completely as I rip his hands off me.
He comes at me again, throwing punches but I block each one. Stumbling a little on my feet through the soft ground but so is he.
I land another punch to his temple which has him falling back ever so slightly, his arms flailing at his sides to keep him upright. Except I take my chance and with another throw and a kick, he falls to the ground without much more persuasion.
When I step over to keep him down, I pause.
"Who are you." I pull out my flashlight from my pocket, flicking the light over his face.
It wasn't one of the agents.
So, who the fuck was this guy?
And how did he know where I was?
He doesn't answer and so I push the heel of my boot into his shoulder, twisting ever so slightly.
"Fucking answer me." I say a little harder, forming a fist around the flashlight now.
"Elbina sent me." My foot freezes on his shoulder.
"What?" That doesn't make sense, she wouldn't.
"She sent me." His hands clasp around my ankle, his eyes pleading with me so I'm not sure what to do.
"To do what then? What did she send you here for?" I say as I apply more pressure that has him wincing under the pain.
"She thought you needed someone to keep you safe, by making sure you stayed in the safe house. I guess it's a good thing I got here when I did." I scrutinize him, following the light as it shines over the scars along his cheeks and the fresh blood staining the skin under his nose. But my flashlight travels down a little further to the remnants of bruises at his neck, maybe a couple of days old but I'd recognise those marks anywhere. It's the same strangulation marks that gave me such horrendous guilt that I could barely look at her then.
They looked sore, but his eyes weren't damaged. The white of his eye clear and normal, so whoever did the strangling wasn't trying to necessarily kill him.
"She told you that then? Stay in the safe house."
I dare you.
He stares right back undeterred. "Her exact words."
Before I can do anything else, Susu's torch is flicking in and out of my vision as she comes running towards us.
"LUCAS!" Her anger is evident, and it's not an emotion I want to be met with from her.
But it distracts me from the guy below me, so by the time I look down, he's already got a knife in his hand and he's aiming for my leg. I throw my foot into his other arm, collapsing my body onto his to keep him down.
The knife flicks across my skin, not really penetrating much, his forearm falls back but before I can press a knee over it he's twisted his grip and quickly digs the knife point into my shin.
He probably hoped it would force me off of him from the pain, but I can see the surprise on his face when I rip his hand off the knife handle and I pull it out myself with a grunt before throwing it away from us into the grass.
"You assholes need to stop stabbing me, it's really starting to piss me right off." I grind out, his glare unmoving until I punch him in the temple. Once then twice, until he slumps below me into a heap of nothing.
I clamber off of him, grabbing hold of the knife handle and standing up.
Which is when I'm faced with Susu's bright light looking back at me, and it's probably a scene that didn't make me look very good.
The man passed out of the ground and I'm carrying a bloodied knife in my hands as I look back at her. Her stance wide and unmoving as she's faced head on with me.
"Don't think about moving one step in either direction or I will tase you." I roll my eyes, cause I wasn't sure if she'd actually do it.
"Susu, you must have seen that he stabbed me. I'm not the one that needs to be tased."
"You just punched a man unconscious, it's not like tasing you would be so far out of touch." She points out and I grumble an acceptance for at least that.
"Drop the knife Lucas."
"No." The gun in her hands is evident now, and I flinch a little having seen it. Not that I'd let her in on that though and so I take a step forward.
"Drop the knife!" I shook my head, I needed to get her to back off, I needed to get out of here.
"No." The minute I try to take another step, the gun goes off and two probes pierce into my skin. But that's nothing on the pain that follows, the knife falls from my grip and my knees drop to the floor as all my muscles contract the tightest they've ever done. My shout of pain becoming contorted under the voltage, forming a weird grunting scream to escape that I couldn't control.
It feels like forever until I'm left breathless on the floor, my limbs still feeling weak but tighten and flex nonetheless.
It takes a couple of minutes, Susu standing away from me and watching me catch my breath. Until finally, I manage to stumble my way back up and I sway as I look back at her.
"Was that really necessary!?" I shout,
"You had a knife, what did you expect me to do?"
"I wasn't going to use it on you though, was I!" I can see her shoulders shrug though, her hands still tight on the gun, as if she's ready to use it any minute.
"You're going to find her, aren't you?" She says and I pause, my fist clenching in my hand.
"I'm going to, yes. But none of you will, I won't let any of you near her." I meant it of course, I wouldn't let them near her. She asked me to come, not anyone else. Which meant she didn't trust any of them either.
"What are you on about? We're the ones stopping you guys from being murdered."
"Some of you are, maybe. It's the rest of you I'm worried about." I say as I look back and down at the man on the ground. 
"But I'm here to protect you, doesn't that count for something? That at least you know there's someone here willing to keep you safe and who HAS kept you safe for the past three months. Does that not mean a thing!?" She takes a step forward as she shouts at me.
I laugh a little, the words sounds so stupid it's humorous.
"I don't trust any of you, because I don't believe Gerald when he says he's good. That's he's on our side, and if you knew what I did, then you'd see it too." I know it sounds cryptic, but I wasn't sure about her.
Her voice quietens, "What do you know?"
I don't tell her about the dog, that exact same dog structure from that house replicated in Gerald's office. We all know that Ella's parents were terrorists, that's obvious, that's fact.
But I don't see how it can be just coincidence that he'd have the exact one in his office, sitting there in plain view like he wanted me to see it. And he let Fallen die, and he let Ella be tortured for too long.
I also don't tell her because she'd probably call me stupid. That I'm reading too much into it, but again, I'd rather believe someone evil and know it, rather than a nasty shock. It's the smarter decision to see the worst in people, it's certainly safer.
"It doesn't matter, all you need to know is that I know where she is and I'm going. You're not going to stop me."
"This isn't a negotiation Lucas."
I shake my head, "You're right, it's not."
She tightens her grip on the gun a little more, and we're left staring at each other in the darkness. My breathing is still hard to control, and my muscles are still cramping a little from the taser.
Eventually she lowers the gun, letting out an annoyed breath of air.
"Let me come with you."
I scoff, shaking my head. "No."
"You need my help, and you know it."
I don't answer, maybe a small part of me trusted her in some way, even if she'd just tased me. So, I let my silence answer her question, clenching my fist against the residual pain.
And after a while, for what felt like an eternity later. She flips the gun in her hand so she's holding the barrel and her finger is off the trigger before walking over to me.
I don't have two seconds before she's ripping the needled probes from my body, they tug on the way out so it has me shouting out in pain.
"You enjoyed that too much, didn't you?" I say, rubbing my chest as I look down at her.
Even in the darkness I see her lip twitch just the slightest.
She drops the used gun to the ground before looking back up at me. "Not in the least, now... Let's go."
I wasn't sure this was a good idea, bringing her along. But I also knew I needed someone with more experience to get me there, someone who knew just as much as I did when it came to what people were capable of.
So even with some nerves fizzling in my gut, I turn around and I follow after her back to the main road, only partly turning my head to the man still unconscious on the ground.
But then I'm falling in step beside her, watching her, analysing her.
As if that will make me trust her more, it doesn't.
But I expected that.