Eddie, Baby, I Don't Know You

7.

The nights following the kiss ruined Eddie. He kept tossing and turning in bed, he got horrible dreams, he was a mess. Eddie thought he liked the kiss but he knew it wasn't right to think that. "God would say its wrong!"  He thought, over and over again, every minute of everyday. Parts of him felt dirty, but dirty on the inside this time. Eddie didn't want Richie to see how uncomfortable he was with the kiss because Eddie wasn't even sure if he was uncomfortable in the first place. He would feel bad if Richie found out how he felt. He didn't want to seem homophobic! Oh how terrible that would be! Eddie decided to ask for some advice. He walked downstairs and asked his mother, which was probably a bad idea. 

"Mommy?" Eddie asked as he hopped off the last step. Mrs. K sat up and looked over at Eddie.

"Do you think it's okay to be gay?" He asked, his whole body shaking slightly. Mrs. K chuckled and got up.

"Oh, Eddie bear.." She walked towards him, which made Eddie even more terrified.

"Being fruity is a sin, a sickness, a different kind of sickness than you are used to." She explained. "The best we can do is pray and give them medicine to help them get better." Eddie covered his mouth in shock.

"Why? Do you know someone who is a homosexual, Eddie?" Mrs. K put her hand on Eddie's chin and tilted his head up, her eyes piercing through his skin. Eddie gulped.

"No ma'am." Eddie lied, he could never dare tell her what happened. He would be sent straight to the mental hospital! 

"Are you having these thoughts?" She asked. The question made Eddie freeze. Was he having these thoughts? If we was he wanted to set his mind straight! Being gay is a sin! Totally..

"No mama, never. Never ever!" Eddie roared, Mrs. K dropped her hand and smiled. 

"Thats my boy." She ruffled his hair as Eddie bit his tounge. He tried to hold back his tears. As soon as Mrs. K walked back to her chair Eddie ran to his room. He shut his door and pressed his back against it. He fell to the ground as he covered his mouth and sobbed. 

"Am I going to hell?"

"What do I feel?"

"Women are sexy, right? I think?"

"Richie is going to hell.."

Eddie felt his throat slowly close up as his crying turning into coughing and wheezing. He looked over at his side table and grabbed his inhaler. He look a long inhale and exhale. He sat on the ground and hugged his knees with a sniffle. Eddie sat there scared and confused as the phone rang. 

"Eddie bear! The phone!" Mrs. K yelled up the stairs, she wasn't one to get up and miss her shows. Eddie wiped his face and got up with a long tired sigh. 

"Coming, mommy!" Eddie roared back as he jumped down the stairs again, this time with less pep in his step. He picked up the phone and leaned against the kitchen wall.

"Hello? Kaspbrak residence.. This is Eddie speaking." Eddie said, sorta like a machine. He picked up the phone like this every single time. 

"Eddie!" The voice on the other side beamed. Eddie could hear his stupidly cute grin, er his idiotic ugly grin!

"Rich.." Eddie mocked the professionals he's seen on those law shows. Richie's grin fell quickly.

"Are you mad at me?" He asked, hoping for a positive answer. Eddie looked down and before he could speak Richie went on one of his famous nervous rambles, probably something he picked up from Eddie. 

"Is it because of the quarry or before I left the other day? I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable, I just wanted to understand how I felt and I know I should of asked for consent before I just kissed you but I was stupid. I'm so fucking stupid. I mess up all the time-"

"You know, gay people go to hell right Rich?" Eddie interrupted, sternly. Now, Eddie wasn't sure he believed this but he had to teach himself to believe it. Being gay is a sin and that is finally, or that's what Mrs. K would want. We don't want to disappoint her, ever. Richie went silent for a second, in shock.

"Are you saying I'm going to hell, Eds?" He asked. Eddie gulped, thinking of something to say. The last sentence he just blurted out. He didn't want to mean it.

"Are- are you saying you're gay?" Eddie responded. Richie sighed and Eddie could hear the cord hit the table as Richie moved the phone in his hands.

"Maybe? I maybe liked kissing you. I don't know if having my first kiss be a boy and me liking it means I'm gay." He explained.

"Maybe I should kiss a girl to find out." Eddie didn't like the idea of that, it made him feel sick to the stomach. 

"No! Girls have cooties!" Eddie blurted out. Richie busted out in laughter.

"By George governor! Eds is still fucking twelve years old, woah!" Richie pulled out an impression he hasn't done in years. It felt nice to pick on each other once in a while. Eddie blushed and covered his mouth.

"Fuck off.." He mumbled, his mom would kill him for cursing but he had to fight back.

"Hm? I didn't hear that. Did you say "Oh Rich! Don't kiss girls! You'll swell up like a balloon and die!"" Richie cackled, his face turning red from laughing. Though Eddie wasn't truly hurt from the jokes, he was embarrassed. Eddie let out a quiet, annoyed groan as he hung the phone back up on the wall. He walked back up the stairs as Mrs. K stopped him.

"Who was it, Eddie?" She asked.

"Just some annoying telemarketer.." Eddie rolled his eyes. As soon as he turned his head he giggled slightly. As soon as he got in his room he lied back on his bed and sighed, this time it was a happier sigh. He thought of all the times that Richie bullied him and hit him. He always missed his silly little impressions, as bad as they were. Eddie soon got up as he realized what he was thinking of.

"I'm going to hell aren't I?"