𝐂𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐈𝐕𝐀𝐓𝐄𝐃 || 𝐁𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐞 𝐄𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐡 𝐀𝐔

Chapter Twelve

Elle
I sat on my shower floor with tears running down my face and blood running down the drain.

I tried to eat a full meal. Nothing too big just a sandwich and some chips and a drink.

And I did.

Not that it lasted long cause not even 5 minutes after I ate it...I threw it up in my toilet.

I hated it. I hated the fact that it made me feel fat and disgusting. I hated the fact that after almost a month of not eating I finally did and I couldn't even keep it down.

Because of that I made more cuts on my stomach, pretty deep ones too. I didn't mean to go as deep as I did it just kinda happened.

I deserved it though. For what I did.

I was numb. I couldn't move, I couldn't speak, I couldn't even really cry. I just sat as my tears ran down my face like a river, my face blank.

I don't remember how long I sat in there but it must've been a while considering my mom had knocked on my door telling. me someone was here for me.

Reluctantly I got out of the shower quickly cleaning my scars putting some clothes on before heading downstairs to find Billie at the door.

"Billie! What-what are you doing here?"

"I just wanted to talk to you." She said sheepishly.

"And you couldn't have called or something?"

"You didn't answer any of my calls, I got worried."

I sighed, telling my mom to let her in.

She looked Billie over with a disgusted look and I could tell Billie was getting nervous. This was the first time they've met officially and I could tell my mom was not having it.

"Uhh mom this is Billie. Remember I showed you a picture of her before?"

"I remember." She said blankly. "The other fag-"

Okay that's enough. Before she could get the foul word out of her mouth I interrupted.

"Billie! You can come in. My room is upstairs."

I shoved past my mom and took Billie's wrist bringing her inside.

"Leave that door open Eleanor!" My mom yelled after us. I just rolled my eyes and ignored her.

I took Billie up to my room, as quickly as possible trying to get rid of all the used gauze and razors that were just lying about.

I knew she knew about what I did but she didn't need to know how often I did it.

"Sorry about my mom, that was so embarrassing."

She just shrugged in response.
"It's fine, I've been called worse. You weren't kidding when you said she was homophobic."

She chuckled a little bit trying to lighten the somewhat damper mood.

"Yeah. Hardcore. Uhh what-what are you doing here?"

"Well I lost you at school yesterday and then you didn't even show up for first period today. I tried calling you but you didn't answer so I got worried and decided to stop by. Is that okay? I can leave if you want me-"