CHOCOLATES IN MONSOON | HRK

04 | chocolates and hot water

CHAPTER FOUR ;; HARUTO
chocolates and hot water

Boy did chemo hurt.

He had probably gone through it a dozen times before, might even have to go through it some more but when you had things you'd rather do back home and guys you'd rather look at, it grew a lot more nauseating and frustrating. He had slept on the whole ride back from the miserable small town hospital and wasn't feeling anything better at the moment.

His head felt on the verge of exploding, his temple throbbed painfully and his heart beat somewhere near his throat. It beat pretty loud.

It beat pretty loud and fast. Come to that.

This wasn't what chemo was supposed to do to you though. It was supposed to make you sick to the stomach and puke out your breakfast somewhere in between.

This feeling was weird.

He felt like he had just run a thousand miles and got cold feet. Not that he could run much. It had knocked him out for a good two hours the first time he had dared to try. Why ? Why because he had godforsaken penile cancer. But rock and roll took care of the chagrin and he was okay with it.

His heart gave another almighty lurch and he closed his eyes in exasperation.

Haruto had never felt like this before and he doubted he ever would. How often did anybody feel like what he was feeling now?

Junkyu hadn't been aware of it but -

dear friends and friendly neighbors,

people who did have cancer and people who didn't,

had there been a certain someone who had had a little fleck of paint on their lip? All the while that they had been talking to him? And hadn't even been aware of it? Oh sure oh sure.

It hadn't been his intentions to stand by the window and stalk the guy in the first place. He had wanted to get his ten hours of post-chemo sleep as soon as possible but somehow his hands had just reached up

(weak as he was)

to pull the blinds open and stare. Not stalk - no, not exactly.

He had wanted to stare because the other was interesting to look at and had a certain incomprehensible beauty to whatever he did. Captivating.

Instincts maybe. But really ! How often did your instincts work for a stranger you barely knew ? How-

His thoughts kept coming back to something.

It had been just a fleck honestly - a light brown color - the color of his eyes, sprayed upon Junkyu's philtrum.

A smile played on Haruto's lips as he turned around on his bed, burying his head deep into a pillow and replaying the little detail over and over again in his mind.

For a moment there - just for a moment, he hadn't even been aware of it until now - he had been close to reaching out and rubbing off the paint himself. They had been that close.

He had been talking to Junkyu quite interestedly and had been faintly curious about the painting the younger had been bickering at. The guy talked while he drew which struck Haruto as immensely fascinating.

Junkyu had smiled to wish him night near the end - the light from his numerous little butterfly lights falling across his face.

With another sickening leap of the heart - he recalled the way the light brown color had sparkled off the other's lip.

The way the hair had stood up on the back of his neck - rooting him to the spot. The way he'd felt tense under his own skin as he fought to control his urge to reach out and wipe the paint clean.