Oath *Completed*

Ruv's Feelings

This was awkward. And I'm usually never feeling that kind of way unless it was, of course, Sarvente. An inferno of exclamation points invaded the corners of my mind in what to do. Who the heck confesses to someone they like after they've been given a place to stay? 

In hindsight, it was not the best time to confess. I shouldn't get ahead of myself even if I and Sarvente were close friends. I did say I like her but could I have really explained myself when she asked me questions pertaining to my feelings? There was a high chance I'd stop in between my sentences because I wanted to choose the right words carefully. 

This was Sarvente, after all. I shouldn't be bullshitting with her. I was currently in my wasteland of a room, back against the door, scratching the gray feathers of my Ushanka. It wasn't my forehead but I had felt for a long time that the clothes I wore on a daily basis were like a second extension of my body. 

I had to be smart about this. That would mean not being reckless with my decisions. 

Firstly, while my feelings for Sarvente did just pop out of nowhere, they were far from ingenuine. Sarvente must've thought we were just inseparable but she didn't imply it in a romantic sense. She was devoted to her responsibilities as a nun, she cared for the children visiting and peeing on my shoes when they could. I could literally smash my head at concrete because of these sudden bursts of emotion.

Secondly, the whole sequence was fast as f***. I wouldn't blame Sarvente if she were cautious around me from now on. I could've confessed to her before and it really was suspicious for me to express what I truly felt towards her after she actually purchased a semi-permanent dwelling for the both of us. A two-story one at that! 

Angered, I almost thought of myself as some cheap gold digger, only sucking up to whoever provided me their blessings and disregarding those who have it. I wasn't something like that. I could very well leave this place and treat the outside world as my doormat. 

But that would be disrespecting the hard work and time Sarvente sacrificed to buy this lot. And I didn't even share 50% of my savings with the expenditures... That f**king plumber was even commissioned by her own monetary capability than my treasure of stolen coins from the local arcade. The guy went on home after setting up the pipes and it seems we could use the faucets for later at night when the water becomes sanitized. 

Why'd I have to confess now of all times? 

If I truly do like Sarvente I could easily supply reasons as to why. But that's embarrassing as f*** to say and it's my first time experiencing crap like this. Kill me in a pyre and toss me away into the mighty whirlpool of despair. 

My phone beeped and due to my paranoid ass, I almost believed it was Sarvente calling me from her device but it was just a stupid Funkbook notification. It was a new post bringing to light this blue-haired dude we battled at the church one time with his girlfriend. They were posing with some purple-skinned people. Sarvente had told me these were dangerous people to encounter but they looked happy in the picture.

Except for the purple guy with the gray hair, he harbored such a malevolent aura. 

"Shit if I care, enjoy your relationship!" I threw my phone across the room, knowing it wouldn't break. That thing was special. "This sucks. Life sucks. That plumber sucks...."

Sarvente was still wearing my jacket. I felt cold. Despite how big I was, I needed to wear one. More like, I must wear one. It was who I am. 

Focusing on the positives, for now, Sarvente hadn't outright rejected me. She must've been in a daze as I was. She had to show off her clothes and everything, now I can't get her out of my mind. Knowing her for years at the church and from the banters we shared, she was hard to miss and easy to like. It just didn't register to me I'd go this far.