My husband's best friend.

4.

Now

It's amazing how there are times you can feel nothing. See nothing. Everything is just blank, silent, and dark. Your mind screams at you for something familiar and tangible, like you're reaching in the distance for anything that makes sense. But your hands are seemingly tied down and unable to move. Your mind screams at you, begging and pleading for anything at all. 

In the distance I could hear screaming and shouting. At first, I was sure it was me but my senses felt off. My mind and body felt heavy, my soul felt like it was splintering, but why? Who was yelling and why did I feel so cold?

"Lily!" I could hear someone yelling at me, begging me awake, to move or do anything. I tried. I swear I did but how can you make yourself do anything when all you feel is nothing. 

"Lily, please! Wake up!" Again, the shouting was getting closer and closer. The voice familiar, one that I knew well. My face felt wet and heavy. My eyes fluttering open and closed but seeing nothing. "Please.. Lily," the voice sounds broken, like it's sobbing. "Wake up.. please you can't leave me. Think about Avery.. Please, come back." 

I felt my eyes move open at the sound of his voice, at hearing my daughters name. What did he mean come back? Where had I gone? Why did my head feel like it was exploding? I suddenly felt so much pain in my body and it was riveting after not feeling anything. The pain in my head was blinding and my right leg felt like it was crushed against the seat in front of me. My mid section was pure agony and I felt something dripping down my face. My breathing felt stuttered but became faster, more harsh and it hurt with every single ounce of breath that entered my body and left. 

"Lil?" 

Trey. That's Trey's voice. I would know it anywhere. I force my eyes completely open and it's disorienting. Everything seems so bright at first when I open them that I instantly shut them before trying again. I can hear Trey's voice soothing me to help me but I don't understand what's happening. I open my eyes again and the brightness clears. My vision is still obscured but I see the car and it's like one of those moments you hear about in tv or movies. Everything comes rushing back to me all at once.

Avery baking cookies. Cody coming home. Going to my dads. Seeing Trey for the first time in months. Going shopping. Heading to dinner. And then.. The truck, there was a truck that didn't stop.

"Oh my God!" I yell, my head swiveling until I see Trey in front of me. I start coughing violently and it's like all the sudden, everything is crystal clear. 

Trey is still in the drivers seat, his upper body twisted slightly to look at me. His arm is reached behind the seats, gripping my hand, trying to soothe me from the panic building in my chest. His head is cover in blood on the left side, a deep cut formed from his eyebrow leading back into his hair. 

"Are you ok?" Trey asks me and I look down at my body. My shirt is splattered with blood and I reach my hand up, feeling my head. My fingers return bloody, bright red. Gasping, I look at my leg which is twisted slightly, and pressed between the seat in front of me and my door. I try to speak but my mouth is frozen. I can't form the words. The car is a mess. Windows shattered, my door bent in, pushing against my body painfully. 

My eyes widen and I go to shift my gaze to look at Cody, my body feeling numb.

"No! Don't!" Trey screams and I jump back looking at him. "Please Lily.. don't." He's gripping my hand, his tone and voice serious.

"What? Why?" I say, everything in me begging to move. Pleading with me to search out Cody and see if he's okay. The truck looked like it was barreling towards me, on my side. Surely I took the brunt of the hit? If I'm okay then he must be!