Broken trust

Part 4

- its been a week-
-i haven't seen derek-
-i still miss him-
-i wonder if he ever thinks of me-

-i went thru the week begging for food-
-and finding shelter in alleys-

-i remember the mall-
-it was very fun, i wish i could go back to the mall-
-im walking on the sidewalk of god knows where-
-i dont even know where i am-
-im still wearing the night gown and derek's jacket-
-i make sure to keep it close, its the only good memory i have of anyone-
-i then walk past the movie theater-
-the same one i meet derek at-
-i walk over to it as i look inside-
-its closed-
-it would be nice to go inside one day-
-i just sit by the door-
-i play with my fingers as i think abt everything-
-i can't just keep wondering around like a hobo-
-then my thoughts trail off to me and derek-
-a soft smile shows on my face thinking abt his touch-
-he was always so gentle with me-
-then my thoughts get interupted-

D: Y/N!!!!

-it was derek-
-i stand up quickly on my feet as he walks over-
-my eyes start to tear up seeing his face-
-he comes up and hugs me as i fold in his arms-

D: where were you

Y/n: i- idk- derek i missed you

-he kisses my head-
-he pulls away and pulls my chin up to look at him-
-he wipes my tears with his thumb as he gives me his warm smile-

D: we need to talk abt some stuff ok

-i move my head from his hand as i look back down at my feet-
-i shake my head no-
-i can't go with him, the note said he would die if he got in the way-

D: look you dont have to come home with me, but just come in the car so we can speak

-his offer sounds fare-
-i look up at him as he takes my hand leading me to the car-
-we both sit in the back seat there were bags in the passenger seat-
-its quiet for a minute-

D: why didn't you tell me...

-he pulls out the letter, he must have found it on the ground when i threw it-
-i look up at him-

Y/n: cause you would have judge me

D: how would you know what i would have judged you by

Y/n: bc- my dad fucking raped me, and i told you i was a virgin, i lied.

D: you didn't lie.

Y/n: yes derek i did

D: no y/n, your still a virgin. and thats not the point

-we sit there in long silence-
-then he speaks-

D: tell me somthing abt you

-i look as him again-
-my eyes then go to his lips-
-i missed his lips-
-i snap out of my thoughts i need to stay focused-

Y/n: im 17, my birthday is june 2nd

D: so soon *he smiles*

-i didn't even relize today was may 25th-
-ill be turning 18 soon-
-he put his hand over mine-

D: let me take care of you. let me take you back home. i promise no one will hurt you

Y/n: you can't promise that

D: yes i can- i will stay by your side, we'll be best friends and ill always take care of you

-that's when it hit me-
-i want him more as a friend-
-i want him as mine, somone i can hold and kiss gn-
-he didn't want me as that tho-
-somehow he rejected me before i even got a chance to tell him-
-i look back down at his hand holding mine as a tear runs down my warm cheek-
-he looks at me as he pulls my chin up-
-another tear runs down as i look into his eyes-