i.
they say my nose is too long
too big
i should do something about it
make it beautiful
when i look at myself
in the mirror
i see a chimera
of a thousand beings
i claim:
this is my mother's nose
but that means nothing to them
ii.
you have
your grandfather's indecisiveness
my father says
one evening
while i cry
to me
making choices
is like burning bridges
like chaining yourself to one path
my father
keeps talking
and his eyes
you look a lot like your mother
but those eyes are my father's
he already knows
i never got the chance to meet him
to check if his eyes matched mine
but i remind him anyway
maybe i should apologize
for my brown eyes,
cold instead of warm
i draw dandelions in the battlefield
and cry while confessing a crime
i did not commit
he looks at me then
and i notice
he isn't seeing me
just my eyes
sometimes
you even sound like him
you know?
i don't
iii.
a young girl
i didn't know
stopped me
down the street
in a city i've never been before
and asked me about my aunt
she said
i'm sorry to bother you
but i feel like i know you
then she mentioned my aunt's name and something about my face
i can't remember
i feel like a thief sometimes
carrying a face that isn't mine
meeting people who know me
and don't know me at all
iv.
they say
you have slim hands
perfect to play the piano
and i think about
my great-grandfather
playing the trumpet
with the same
steady hands
that had held a rifle
during the Spanish Civil War
i always wanted
to play the trumpet
when i was a child
but
when i held one
it felt like a weapon
it scared me
i put it down
never touched it again
i tell them
hands like mine
aren't made
to play music
