[POETRY FROM TONIGHT WILDFLOWERS BLOOM IN ALPHA CENTAURI THAT I WANTED TO REPOST HERE]
what do you do
with the guilt
you carry
when regret isn't enough?
it's too heavy,
where do you put it down?
you don't
you can't
we are all atlas
we can't put down the world
we are meant to carry,
but that's not the answer
you want to hear, is it?
the world will claim:
this is your guilt;
yours, not mine
(and they would be right)
have you ever asked yourself why do we use possessive pronouns on guilt?
i have
guilt is a possession
a very precious one
it means you know
not all your actions
have always been good
even the purest of waters
can be stained with blood
but
you can't let it go
to bear it
you have to mother it
suffer it
accept it
with the same open arms
you hold your good actions
it's your guilt;
yours, not mine
(only you can mother it)
you talk about your regret,
apologize a thousand times
you clean the blood
on your hands
with it
and still dare to ask
why regret isn't enough
i'll tell you
you talk about your guilt as if it is
not a consequence of your actions
but this guilt is you
this is all your doing
(another possessive)
this is the aftermath of
something
you can't take back
you did this to her
you did this to yourself
the only way
to survive the guilt is to accept it
you have to say out loud:
i did something bad
i caused others harm
i've been cruel
i've been careless
i did some things
i can't take back
you meant no harm,
i know
i know
don't try to justify it,
it won't stop the guilt
it won't make you
any less guilty
(mother it, suffer it, accept it)
repeat after me:
i did something bad
i did some things
i can't take back
those were my actions
these are my consequences
(i welcome them with open arms)
