Spilled emotions

Value of ones's name

Julius Euclius- the spirit knight, the greatest knight. He never once slackened in his duties and worked hard to be the respectable knight he always dreamt of.

People told him to relax or stop being too uptight or strict on himself. But he  wanted to be strict on himself. That way he could be the person he aimed to be.

To be the knight, who would never abandon chivalry and his pride. The knight, who would always save others with confidence. The knight, who would carry himself with a perfect demeanour.

The knight, who would serve his lady and protect her from any harm.

After all the years of hardship, he finally managed to become the knight he wanted to be. He was happy being able to serve such an amazing person, who could win against others with her wits.

His lively companions were always there to support him. He was proud to be able to call Reinhard and Felis as his friends. He had made new friends in the past year too. His family was proud of him. His spirits were very close to him.

But it all came crumbling down.

All the relationships he established, vanished into thin air. All the things he accomplished, forgotten by all. Everything he did, felt like they had all turned worthless.

His name, was erased from everyone's mind.

The person named Julius Euclius, was forgotten by all, like he never existed from the very beginning.

It felt like his heart was crushed when he first heard his companion, Ricardo asked him "who 're ya?", when he helped him.

It felt like the whole world had collapsed when his lady thanked him for helping Ricardo and asked for his name.

What purpose is left for me? What will I do now?

He couldn't help but think negatively. Despite all the turmoil in his mind, he kept a calm demeanour.

Because his chivalry and honour as a knight were the only things he had. He liked to uphold them before, but now he desperately clung onto them to ease his pain.

Even in this hopeless situation, a miracle occurred.

Natsuki Subaru, a recently made friend, who he respected, was the only one who remembered his [Name].

Atleast one person. One person knew who he was. That gave him solace enough to keep moving forward.

Even if his mind was a mess, as long as one person was there to remember him, he felt like he could walk forward. He had to walk forward for the sake of his lady. For the sake of all those who were hurt even more by the witch cult, back in Pristella.

He somehow managed to pull himself together by focusing on others. Like his supposedly little brother, who he wasn't sure if they had the same parent or not. Like Anastasia-sama and a new acquaintance, Echidna. Like Subaru, who drank some truth serum and spilled out his hidden emotions.

But that too failed him when he lost against Reid Astrea. His strength as a knight, one of the few things left with him, failed against such a strong wall. If he couldn't even hold his sword, what exactly was left of him anymore?

Julius grimaced as his thoughts spiralled around like the ivy vines of the green room. The spirit healed his wounds as he laid comfortably on a bed of vines, created by the same spirit.

Patrasche, who was asked by Emilia and Subaru to look after Julius, sat vigilant. Anastasia and Rem still sleeping peacefully.

A knock was heard from the door, followed by the sound of the door opening. Subaru entered silently.

Julius:[Are you done explaining the situation?]

Subaru:[Yeah. You don't have to worry about anything else now other than resting, okay?]

Subaru told him in a scolding manner. Julius nodded and looked down.

Julius:[I-

Subaru:[Seriously, if you again say crap like you feel ashamed for letting me or anyone else down by displaying such crude behaviour unbefitting of a knight and you keep troubling the Emilia camp, then I'm going to hit you. Not as hard as Reid did, but still strong enough to beat some sense into you.]

Subaru interrupted Julius' tirade of guilt with an annoyed face.

Julius:[...If only you spoke properly like that when speaking to others normally instead of mimicking me now...]

Subaru:[Guess the green spirit's healing powers are working nicely, huh?]

Julius:[Yes. We should really be grateful that such a spirit is here. Otherwise we would have had difficulties proceeding from the very first day.]

Subaru:[....]

Subaru silently looked at Julius which caused him to raise an eyebrow in confusion.

Subaru:[You start talking about random stuff when you want to distract yourself from what's bothering you, right?]

Julius:[.....]

Julius fell speechless Subaru correctly guessed what he was trying to do.

Subaru:[Honestly, I do the same thing, you know.]

Julius:[...I have noticed. Actually, everyone has. You just skillfully dodge the topics.]

Subaru:[Haha.. that's a skill I'm proud of.]

Subaru smiled sheepishly as he scratched his head.

Subaru:[I know that you have a lot of things going on in your mind right now... and no matter what I say things won't change. So I won't give you false hopes or crap like everything will be alright.]

Subaru looked straight into Julius' golden eyes as spoke. Julius stared back at his brown eyes, looking at his own reflection. His own pained expression.

Subaru:[But I want to tell you that I understand what you are feeling. Not completely, obviously. Because I have been through some similar things. And I can say that it is not really pleasant...]

Julius:[You understand?...]

Subaru:[There is nothing we can do. No matter what you say or do, things won't go back to normal.]

Julius:[Are you saying that my future is as good as gone?]

Subaru:[Where did that came from? Just because things won't go back to same doesn't mean things will get bad. Our situation can become better. It all depends on what we do now.]

Julius:[So just stay positive?...]

Subaru:[Yeah. Cuz that's what Emilia-tan will say. All we can do now is give it our all and fight. And hope that tomorrow things will be better.]

Subaru relaxes his cheeks as he tilted his head with a smile. Julius closed his eyes.

Julius:[...You are right, I suppose. Mulling over the bad things is useless after all. I will keep your advice. Thank you.]

Subaru:[Don't just keep it, use it.]

Julius sighed through his nose and smiled.

Julius:[Yeah.]

Subaru:[Keep resting. I'm gonna go sleep too.]

Subaru yawned as he waved his hand and left the room.

Julius:[Hope that things will get better tomorrow.....huh.]

Whatever Subaru told him, didn't change a thing. His [Name] didn't return.

But, he did gained the courage to fight. He was grateful for that. The only miracle, Subaru remembering him, was his beacon of hope. Until he reached the end of the dark tunnel, he will keep relying on that light.

That's right. Just until the end of the dark tunnel. He would walk by placing his faith in Subaru and his lady.