It's Zel, Actually: What really happened with Repunzel (sapphic)

Knight in shining armour

Once upon a time... The Queen and King had a baby, her name was Rapunzel. In her early years, she was locked in a high tower. Rapunzel had very very long hai–You know what no, I'm not doing this, we've all heard this version of the story, but I'm here to tell you what really went down.

So, Once Upon a Time this long-haired chick, for whatever reason, was locked in a tower in the woods. Her name was Rapunzel, but she kind of hated it, so she went by Zel. Now as you can imagine Zel's life was very simple, and by the time she was 18 it had become dreadfully boring up in the high tower. Zel had many books, but no amount of books would be enough for that many years spent in solitude. She had read about normal society in her books and longed to be part of it, but she knew that the chances of someone finding her were slim, she didn't even know where she was. One day Zel was brushing her hair, she was about 20 feet in when she heard a wrestling in the bushes. She rather enjoyed it when the deer and woodland creatures would come and visit her tower, so she went to the window to watch them play. Zel was shocked when a man emerged from the bushes, she hadn't seen another person in years.

"Hello?" she said uneasily.

"Hello Fair Maiden," the man reached his left hand up towards the tower in a theatrical show that foreshadowed how insufferable the interaction would be. That is if she could hear him at all.

"WHAT DID YOU SAY"

"I SAID HELLO FAIR MAIDEN"

"Oh. Hi, Can you help me get down from here?"

"WHAT?"

"I SAID: CAN YOU HELP ME GET DOWN FROM HERE? AND THE NAME'S RAPUNZEL, BUT I PREFER ZEL"

"Yes, of course, my bride"

"I'm sorry, your What?!" as you can imagine Zel was absolutely repulsed by this statement.

"Well My bride, of course, isn't that how it works? I save you, the Damsel in Distress, Then you marry me and we live happily ever after. So, I guess... Rapunzel, Rapunzel let down your hair?"

"The cajones on this guy...I literally told him it's Zel," she muttered, "Uhhh Absolutely not, ya slimeball, let's just say you're not exactly my type."

"You've been locked in a tower for 18 years you can't even have a type."

" Well maybe not, but you're definitely not it."

" Just to be clear you'd rather stay in a tower than marry me?"

"Yep, that pretty much sums it up. Have a fantastic day."

"Well...screw you Rapunzel, I hope you're happy with whichever man is you 'type.'" Zel laughed.

"Yeah, yeah keep it movin' pal."

This Ridiculousness carried on for a couple more years. Mr. slimeball just had to go back to his village and tell all the men about Zel. So, pretty much every week a new guy showed up and yelled up to her window "Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your hair" each of them making the gross assumption that she would swoon and marry them once she was "rescued." Each time she had to—quite honestly—say that they were not her type. It was unbearable.

Finally, when Bachelor number 118 rolled up on a black steed Zel had had it, before this knight had a chance to say anything Rapunzel yelled down mockingly, " let me guess, 'Rapunzel Rapunzel let down your hair, so that I may climb thy golden stair.'"

"Uhh, no. Have all the years up there made you delirious? What is that kitschy nonsense? What use would there be for me to come up there, Also what would be the plan after that? I would just be stuck up there with you until I climb down your hair but you'd still be up there." Zel could have sworn there was something different about this knight, their voice was–could it possibly be..?

"Who are you anyway?" Zel inquired.

"Name's Jae, gonna get you down from there, rest ain't too important." Zel was curious as to why the knight had not declared their right to her hand in marriage yet but she didn't want to push her luck, so she waited for the plan. Jae Instructed her to step away from the window, Zel was confused but figured this knight knew what they were talking about. She heard some clattering and peeked out the window to see Jae take out a bow and some arrows, when the knight drew back the bow Zel felt color rush to her face but laughed it off. Soon she felt 3 small vibrations throughout the tower. After a few seconds Zel stepped up to the window, about a foot to the left there were three metal arrows embedded in the tower's stone wall.

"And what exactly do you propose I do with those?" Zel teased.

And, like Jae had done this a thousand times before they said "Just hook your hair around it and then lower yourself down."

"I will do no such thing," Zel said, half-joking, half out of a desire to keep on living.

"Trust me," Jae said with an intoxicating air of confidence, "Plus I'll catch you if you fall" Zel could have sworn she saw this knight wink.

"Ah, what have I got to lose?" Zel did as Jae instructed, and started lowering herself down slowly, outside of the tower for the first time in as long as she could remember. But, when she was about 10 feet off the ground her hair slipped off the cluster of arrows, Zel screamed, but before she knew it she was safe, in Jae's arms. She felt the color fill her cheeks once more and turned her head towards the knight's chest, trying to regain her composure. Once the shock–and blushing–were contained Zel looked up at Jae and found herself gazing in the eyes of the prettiest knight she'd ever laid eyes on, she had deep blue eyes and long curly brown hair.

Jae finally spoke and said "you know I'm sorry, I heard about how all those guys felt entitled to marry you, bunch of slime balls. I know the feeling, believe it or not."

Zel smiled and said, "well...it doesn't sound that bad with the right person, and you seem to be just my type."

Jae leaned down and kissed Zel. It was like nothing they'd ever felt before, soft, tender, vulnerable, safe. They parted lips and giggled bashfully.

"You're not too bad yourself" Jae teased as she leaned in again. It wasn't said out loud, but the way they melted into each other as they kissed said "finally."

The End