The Diaper Academy

Part 1: Arrival at Magellan Reformatory

The woman at the front of the theatre coughed into her microphone, and the room went quiet. She began to speak with a strict but sweet tone that made everyone uncomfortable.

'Welcome, everyone, to the Magellan Reformatory School for Troubled Boys. My name is Cersei, but I expect you all to call me Miss Magenta. I am the principal of this establishment, and if you have any problems or queries, my door is always open - we're not like other reformatory camps where the line is drawn between students and staff. You're always welcome to come and talk with me.'

She made a big, toothy smile, and turned around to begin her presentation. I had had high hopes for this place, but as soon as I saw the first slide, I knew it was just like all the other schools I had been admitted to.

'Now,' Miss Magenta began. 'Why are you all here?' A slide with those words, and a picture of a boy sitting on his bed in thought, appeared on the screen. 'This is the question we continually try to answer during your time at this school. What has caused your troublesome ways? Why have you continued down the path of delinquency? What can we do about it? Well, we believe that this academy is the solution...'

This went on for some time, her repeatedly praising her school, then referring to all of our misdeeds. I mean, I knew I had done some bad things in my time, but to me, it was pretty obvious that it was a result of my upbringing. My parents had never shown me a lot of affection, and when I came out as bisexual, it just got worse. So, I rebelled. I broke windows. I cheated on tests. I was kicked out of schools time and time again. My mum and dad never disciplined me. They didn't care. It was only when child services came knocking did they finally realise the gravitas of what I had done. For the first time in their lives, they finally owned up to their roles as parents, and taught me the vital lessons every teenager should be told - just kidding. Instead, they shipped me off to a reformatory boarding school, named after a fancy Spanish explorer from the 1500s. Yeah, that's right, I knew my history. I wasn't like some other dropouts with no academic prowess whatsoever.

I felt a tap on my shoulder, and looked behind me to see a scrawny kid with ginger hair grinning at me. 'Did you zone out too?', he said. 'God, this Miss Magenta person's annoying.'

I smiled back at him. 'Yeah, I know right, I stopped listening before the second slide even came up!'

He chuckled. 'Yeah, this is looking like it's gonna be an interesting place. I'm Matthew, by the way.'

'Dillon. So, why are you in here?'

'Ahem.' A loud voice from the speakers echoed around the auditorium. Hundreds of pairs of eyes turned to look at us, as Miss Magellan pointed in our direction.

'I will not have any chatter during this presentation. Vital information is being communicated here, boys - you must be paying attention. Now, where was I?'

Matthew leant back in his chair, and whispered, 'Sorry. Talk later, okay?'

I eagerly nodded, and reluctantly turned to face the front of the hall, where Miss Magenta had moved on to what seemed like the gazillionth slide. Only a few minutes in, and it seemed like I had made my first sort-of friend.

'Now,' continued Miss Magenta. 'Over the course of today, each and every one of you will have a one-on-one session with either myself, or one of my associates. It is my pleasure to introduce to you the heads of this school - Head of Discipline, Mr Banks; Head of Leisure Activities, Ms Lido; Head of Logistics and Organisation, Mr Addams; and finally, Head of Nourishment and Nutrition, Mrs Marylebone. Please show them your appreciation.'

A somewhat dim round of applause was raised, as the four heads stood up from their seats near the front of the hall. I noticed there didn't seem to be an academic head, and their four roles sounded a bit unconventional, but I brushed those thoughts aside.