Lone Werewolf Duology (bxb)

50. Led Astray

AN: Volya and Liam are in a fantasy land in this chapter. Volya is still 17. They kiss and hug. For plot related reasons, Volya is naked for part of the chapter.  Volya has a fantasy-inspired impulse to have a sensual relationship with Liam, but no actual inmate scenes beyond kissing is included.

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The heart monitor's alarm screeched bloody murder from Volya's wrist. His heart turned into a battering ram, hitting hard to bring down his rib cage. He gasped for air, flailing against the restraints.

Liam, his forehead dotted with cold sweat, eyes flung in terror, alternately grabbed his hands and shook him by the shoulder, screaming louder with every repetition of his name.

"Volya, Volya, Volya!"

Finally, there was enough air in Volya's heaving chest. His eyes dropped back into their sockets. He looked round, trying to get his bearings.

Liam crouched close, also expelling deep breaths, but his sighs were of relief rather than existential.

Volya's cheek and jaw burned. He cradled it, gawking at Liam.

"Sorry for slapping you. I was just trying to wake you." Liam shuddered.

Volya nodded mutely and fumbled with the zipper of his sleeping bag. It came undone and sprawled open, kicked below his waistline by his thrashing. Liam was also out of his sleeping bag and stark naked, as usual. Good thing they were in the tent.

"Tent?" Volya asked in half-daze. The last thing he remembered was sitting by the oak tree. "How did I...?"

"I've carried you here. Or half-carried, half-dragged. Thought you'd be more comfortable." Liam gathered the padded fabric of the sleeping bag to tuck it around Volya. "Don't worry, the last thing on my mind was mischief. You scared me out of my mind."

Liam did look shaken, but still took care of him.

"Thanks." Volya hiccupped and threaded his arms through Liam's, like a vine round a tree. Feelings crushed his chest. He could breathe, yes, but his mind spiraled down the staircase into the bottomless darkness.

Yasuwa and his men, rejected.

Akrum, who lived with the name that branded him as a reject.

Rejection in Toshka's blue eyes in his waking dream.

His father, torn to pieces.

And, spreading its vulture's wings over his whole world, throwing its shade over him since day one, the old pain of his mother abandoning him. He couldn't stand it any more.

Volya pulled on Liam's shoulders and wormed out of the sleeping bag to press his chest against the other guy's wide, warm pecks. His exhausted heart needed to beat next to another living heart, and skin to skin. Lips on lips, yes, he wanted that too, but above all he needed a hug.

"I had seen... I had seen what nobody should see alone." He didn't mean to sob and did it anyway. Multiple times, choking on each upwelling of tears. "Don't move away. Stay. Hold me. Please?"

"Shush, shush," Liam whispered, his hand cradling Volya's head into a cove above his clavicle.

Liam couldn't possibly be comfortable half-kneeling like this... Volya untangled his arm to wrap it around Liam's waist, bringing him to lie side by side. He nuzzled his way up toward Liam's lips. They loomed less than an inch away.

"Liam, I can't be alone. I don't want to be alone! O my Lord, I can't be alone any more... Do you understand?"

"Yes," Liam replied simply.

"I know you can have anyone you want at any time..." he cut off. God only knew where he was going with this.

Liam tweaked his nose gently. "Much do you know, bae."

"Tell me."

"My contract doesn't stipulate that I must be a paragon of virtue and a role-model for youth at all times like for some other singers, so you'll have to take it on faith," Liam whispered, as his hand stroked Volya's back, "that I want something other than anyone/anytime. When I was starting out I did, but I'm growing out of it."

Volya tilted his head a bit back, searching Liam's face. The doe's eyes twinkled, the sensual lips tempted, but there was another dimension to Liam's aura. He noticed it before too, just never added up all his impressions together to actually understand.

Liam was sensitive and playful, and he looked for solace in questionable places, but there was depth to him. There was soulfulness and even solitude brought on by fame and a thousand delusions that went with it. At his innermost core, Liam was capable of love beyond a trifling affair. And not only was he capable of it, he was looking for it. Maybe he even dreamed of it, while stringing together a song after song.

The revelation almost scared Volya away, but his need for affection and human closeness won out over guilt.

Closing his eyes, Volya locked his lips onto Liam's, exploring their outline and tasting the warmth. The teeth and the tongues touched in a teasing trade.

"The kisses make me dizzy after all the fright." Volya stole another kiss. "You said you'd sing, but all you do is sigh. I feel cheated."

Liam's tongue flickered along Volya's jaw. "I do, bae, I do...inside." 

Volya grinned like a fool, imagining the whole opera of things he wanted. He luxuriated in it, but the haze of delayed gratification gave way to a violent vision without a warning.

It was as if a key turned, opening a door to a dark secret place Volya hadn't seen inside his soul before. The desires flashed with unwanted clarity. To claw and bite a mate's neck into submission, grind him into the ground to satisfy the need to dominate if not procreate. He turned his head as far back as it would go to look at the sinuous, tender Liam through squinted eyes. No way he could let him out of his sight without marking him as his mate. Volya bared his teeth.

Mate, the familiar voice rejoiced in his head, your mate.

Nooo... Volya protested.

The mist-wolf cackled.

Joints creaked within Volya, twisting, then opening up. Burning pain rushed up his bones, searing everything in its path.

Do it, the darkness from the very bottom of him screamed, make him yours.