UNEDITED
***
I've lost all hope,
All light that motivates me,
I'm now only a bare candle,
With the wick charred in defeat.
I am bereft of what I want,
Or even of what I need,
Right now I can see only darkness,
Pure black pulling me into it's heed.
I'm not lost, I'm just tired.
Tired of thinking about myself,
Because when people hurt me, I am hurt,
But that's only because I care about myself.
Now I have given up,
I have lost all valour and might,
In fact, I might have lost everything of mine,
Because there is nobody to guide me to the right.
I am derided and ridiculed,
And lost and hushed too,
I am left to rot in bittersweetness,
I am driven to curse vindicative fools.
I am traipsing aimlessly through the night,
I am weaving through plaguing fights,
I look up and see the stars, and marvel at their loyalty,
Loyalty of staying unstirred in their might.
The fiery wind zooms past me, the leaves fall and waves crash on shores,
And all I am left to think is that how,
Everything else can be so oblivious
To the wails and sorrows of the people of lost hopes.
I walk past unknown, fleeting feelings,
I walk past varying lives and times,
I walk past love and hate and unfeeling,
I walk past some defeated, some dying.
It hurts to see them angry and vengeful,
It saddens me to think there is somebody, suffering, somewhere,
And there is only a mere wish or pleading prayer,
That I can mutter under my longing breath,
I glance at the empty roads,
The sheer, screaming silence eating me whole,
Then I realise there is no true person,
No pure soul that will help you through, to this life's inviting goal.
I look at the leaves falling, and I realise even if I fall,
There is not that one person who will love me back or even catch me,
He will just watch me falling and falling and falling,
Till there is hard, cold ground to hit me.
I look at the houses, lined so beautifully next to each other,
Then I think, yes there is shelter, but under what conditions that we will survive?
Rain can come and uproot and break,
And we all will be left to fight each other to stay alive.
In the end, I am me, You are you, and We are humans.
We are heartless people who will tear flesh and selfishly live for ourselves,
We will all work towards uprooting and killing ourselves.
I am a human and I regret being born like this,
And now my fellow humans have succeeded in destroying me,
Because I am wounded and scarred and helpless,
So there is nothing I can do, except for weep.
But I will not let anybody else suffer,
That similar wrath, that fear, that plunder forced upon me,
I will kiss my wounds and scars and stand up with all my broken pieces,
Just to look for, and help those in need.
