armin x gn!reader
my first attempt in writing a character study.
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“had we done something differently back then, would things still be the same as they are now?”
the sound of armin's voice, raspy and thick, had nearly knocked you out of your seat. it was the first thing he had said after hours of sitting in silence, burning holes off the wall with his stare, cerulean eyes void of anything and shoulders drooped as if he were bearing the burden of the whole world on that frail body of his. well, in a way, he was.
the repercussions of the war certainly was taking a toll on armin; the needless bloodshed, the howls of the devastated, the countless sacrifices that seemed to be growing each day— it was all in the hands of armin. the gravity of these things weighed in his heart, and how you wished you could share that burden of his.
armin was a criminal, having swept away the lives of possibly more people than the number of his golden strands; and yet it was so shameful of him to believe he was doing everything in the name of freedom. how shallow of him to think that a few deaths were tolerable as long as it would lead to merit.
it was his comfort. a reassuring thought to keep him sane through this seemingly endless turmoil.
he scoffed, thinking of how pathetic he was. dwelling on his regrets despite knowing full well there was nothing he could do to take back the lives he's stolen; to atone for his sins.
had he done too much of trying to prove his worth? perhaps.
the prospect that you would never be able to get armin back feared you, for he resembled nothing but an empty shell, laying idly in the shore, waiting for the current to bring him somewhere, anywhere but here— he had finally seen what's beyond the sea, but at the cost of his own humanity.
you longed to see the armin you knew once more; the one that was full of wonder and genuine curiosity for the world around him; overflowing with bright hope for the future. but his hopes already seemed unreachable at this point, the light he followed slowly slipping further away from his grasp, dreams dissolving to a mirage. there was nothing that could be done.
he was too broken beyond repair. hands too tainted and bloodied.
oh, where was the boy who simply longed for the sea?
YOU ARE READING
salton sea | armin arlert
Fanfiction" i always dream of you; painted in golden and blue, soft skin on my fingertips, blue porcelain on my lips. "
