The energy we created

8

Chapter 8

It was the second last day before we would get unchained, and L would be able to see if I was Kira or not. No worries! I had it all mapped out. I made sure that Misa was killing in place of me. I had to explain a lot of safety rules, which the slow girl couldn't really understand. I hated giving up so much control, especially to someone as dumb as Misa. So, I was automatically a little bit tense. So far L didn't catch up, why the killing went on, at least that was what I hoped. I was also doing my part, distracting L in on my own ways. That was the plan, but I ended up going totally of road because of obvious reasons.

I sighed. L was eating cake and watching TV. I knew the days were coming to an end and things would have to go back to normal. I would have to build those walls up again, the exact same one's L tore down. I never felt this way, and it was horrible, these feelings. L sitting next to me breathing typing, just being himself.

As long as you're next to me L, everything seemed doable.

The day passed. We didn't talk much, but there must have been something in the air. The cold apartment suddenly didn't feel cold anymore.

It was probably around eight o'clock as L put his laptop aside. "Hey Light, you know since our days are going to an end, I have to do a report on what happen in the last few days and I must be honest with you, the percentage of you being Kira didn't go down at all. I sadly have to still trust you, as much as I trusted you before."

I knew that already, at least that's what I would have imagined. I mean it wasn't so that I gave him somewhat solid evidence against Kira, except that I fucked him. But yet again, a serial killer could do the exacts same, but yet again I'm also not a serial killer. I'm just trying to make a better world. A better world for everyone, a better world for L. Yes, for sure. So basically, I'm still good?!

"Light? You good? You seem spaced out?" I flinched and came back to reality. "Yeah, yeah, for sure." I starred at one point, feeling an uncomfortable feeling in my gut slowly heating up, my breath getting shorter, a weird feeling hurting in the back of my throat.

After all I gave to L, he still wouldn't trust me. I basically told him that I loved him. What's his fucking problem? And then it happened again, I got carried away from my emotions.

"Actually L, no. It's not fair after everything. This, this is how you thank me?"

L turned around, worried and tried to calm me down. "Well actually Light, I'm not trying to thank you. I'm just stating the obvious, I mean of course we had fun, but we can't forget why were actually chained up in the first place," he said shrugging his shoulders, reaching his hand over to mine. I couldn't believe this motherfucker, what's wrong with him? I pulled my hand back.

"What?" I said in a cranky voice. "What is your fucking problem L?"

"Light, no reason to shout." He seemed worried, he didn't want to upset me, but was he saying to calm the fuck down? Yeah, now I'm mad.

"No L, you just want me to be Kira so bad, everything I do I try to prove against it, and you come back to the same bullshit every fucking time. You only try to see the bad in me, I will never be good to you. I give you so much and you give me more than less, so every time I try harder so that maybe one day, I will be worthy of your trust... your affection. I hate you; I hate this feeling you give me; I hate this feeling of uncertainty."

I was never this mad before, and after spilling all my emotions, he didn't even seem faded by it.

"I mean you getting so mad is kinda weird, despise you're not Kira, how you claim...."

"Yeah, you know what L, you're a fucking asshole, you will never trust me, and you will never stop thinking I'm Kira until you're dead. You are pathetic. And you know what? I'm glad these days are going to an end, two more fucking days and then I'm off. I'm not happy because I'm Kira and can

'gO bAcK tO killing PeOplE,' no I'm happy because I don't have to be in a two-meter distance of a person which has so fucking huge trust issues there isn't even a fucking comparison. You probably didn't even care what happen in these past few days, you were just playing with me to see if Kira would 'slip', well I have news for you fuckface I'm not fucking Kira," I shouted. "I'm not fucking Kira," I said again, in a normal tone, my voice cracking.

Finally, L said something back "Well gee thanks Light. You know what, you should go find yourself, and then come back and find me." In his voice there was no trace of anger, hate or offensiveness, just disappointment.

The feeling of anger was still growing strong in me, and I wasn't going to let go off it, also if hurt L in the crossfire. It wasn't fair. Everything I did, L doubted, but yet again I make it seem as if I'm not Kira, but he was 100% right.

I feared him, his intelligence, and his wittiness. I should have been more careful. He's superior to me as far as emotional intelligence is concerned. Now I'm even more angry. The first time I actually felt something, you could even say love, and this is what I get back?

"It's like you never felt the same," I said feeling a tear slowly down my left side. L seemed now also kind of angry. "I never said that Light."

The atmosphere changed completely; we didn't eat that night. I mean I wasn't hungry anyway, not after what L just said. We stayed on the couch. We didn't talk, L was typing on his laptop, I was flicking thru the channels, everything bored me. I watched a boring documentary and watched the rain poor over Tokyo. We didn't talk for hours, both still being mad.