Different Sound

SIX

Maya's Pov

Driving home brought a whole new wave of nerves for me. I kept reminding myself it was one week and I wouldn't be selfish, that simply just wasn't an option, but what if one week was all it took for the death that I seemed to carry to infect them. I wanted to back out, come up with some kind of excuse not to go to the movie night I had been invited to. Then again that wouldn't be fair, I couldn't. They were making an effort to learn sign language for me. Plus my people pleasing personality wouldn't allow me to. I wished I could fight that part of my personality but that was pretty much all I had that made me more then a depressing cloud of darkness. 

"How was school today May?" Allison asks once I walked through the door. I had a feeling this would become some type of routine. I liked routine, I longed for it. Only this week routine would probably become impossible to grasp. Is this what it was like to have friends? I wasn't sure, how could I be? 

'I spoke to Carter and his friends again.' I sign to her, a bright smile covers her flawless features. 'They invited me to a movie night. Can I go? I can always cancel.' I sign, apart of me praying she says I'm not allowed, that would be an excuse. Something I could truly use as a reason not to go to the movie night that was causing my abnormal heart rate. 

"No May, you go and make friends." Allison encourages. Her reply seemed a little strange to me, I knew now that they intended to adopt me, however most of my foster parents disapproved of me making friends almost as strongly as I did. It was another thing that made Allison and Jeffery stand out from everyone else. 

'Allison,' I sign, not really knowing where I was going with this yet. She looks at me expectantly and I nervously tug on my sleeve. 'Are you sure this is a good idea?' 

"May, sweetie, if your worried about the fact you can't speak then don't be worried. Carter is a lovely boy, and so are his friends. They wouldn't want to be your friends if they had a problem with your lack of words." Allison comforts. I send her a smile, as if her words had done the job they were supposed to. I knew Carter had no issues with me not speaking, everyone seemed to have accepted that I wouldn't be speaking. It was my many other issues that were hidden behind my muteness. "After what you told us last night, we were thinking of maybe getting you a speech therapist." 

'I'd like that.' I smile. I had wondered what it would be like to talk many times over the past 12 years but I had just assumed that would never be an option for me. I wasn't sure how to use my voice for anything other then singing anymore. Although I knew being mute would forever be my way of dealing with life and any issues it through at me, it would be nice to have the option to talk. 'You would be there too, right?' I sign, I knew I wouldn't be able to do this alone. Nor would I want to. I would need someone to hold my hand and support me through the process. Maybe it was a childish way of thinking but I had never really had a chance to grow up normally. I noticed that in certain situations I would always have a slightly child like way of dealing with it or thinking about it. I resented my parents for forcing all of this on me, but then I felt guilty. For all I knew they were dead. I liked to imagine they were dead, the thought of being abandoned by my parents always unsettled me so I just pretended they were dead. Once I tried searching my last name but as you can imagine many results came up and I could never be sure if the results were my parents of not. I had no frame of reference in mind, no way of knowing which one was correct, who was who. I had nothing but a random and common last name. 

"Of course I will. Jeffery will also attend sometimes but I promise I will be there at every single appointment." Allison reassured me. I beam a bright and real smile at her, quickly darting into her arms for a hug. Hugging Allison and Jeffery was becoming so natural for me. Usually I would have issues with large amounts of physical contact but within this family, this town, it didn't seem so bad. "Aw. Now go get ready for your play date." Allison teased. I sent her a shy smile before rushing up to my room and getting ready for the movie night.