To Feel You In My Arms (Touko Kirigaya x Male Reader)

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I have never been the one being open off me to any person really, always just closing myself off from others.

I do well in school, and I have my fair share of friends and parents that love me a lot, but even so, I can’t help to feel selfish. Selfish with the fact that I don’t share the same love for them, or anyone.

I do want to feel love for someone myself, but alas, I just can’t and never have been able to, as I have never been that kinda person to gain crushes on girls unlike other guys.

So I always felt empty when it came to love.

But that day with the school festival where all of Tokyo’s highschools got together, no matter the status, to just simply have fun... I met her.

A girl just in one grade below me, but she gets along with almost anyone. I didn’t know at the time, but she is quite popular, and has a lot of friends in school, and even more followers on her social media. I am not the biggest social media user, so I had not seen or heard about her before.

By some coincidence, we crossed paths at the snacks table. Heck, we basically met like two fated lovers would in romance movies. Luckily it wasn’t love at first sight, but rather we got intrigued by each other with conversing.

She began talking with me and I listened. She must’ve gotten surprised by me actually listening to her, as apparently any other guy she tried striking a friendly conversation just ignored her.

Maybe they were too shy, considering that she was one of the prettier girls around at that festival, but I couldn’t really care. I liked hearing her voice, loved hearing it even, it fitted with her charismatic appearance and energetic personality.

I just stood there and chatted with her for so long that we had to move out of the way and continue talking elsewhere in the room. It was hard at this point to not continue on with the conversation.

Of course, during this chat I got to know her name; Touko Kirigaya. A guitarist in the band Morfonica from the highly prestigious Tsukinomori, an all-girl high school laying around where my high school is at.

Before we realized it, we had basically talked for the whole rest of the festival’s duration, me about my rather mundane life but still great achievements in school and sports and her about her rather exciting band life and overall being a trend seeker, it was time to go home. And we both forgot to give each other our numbers that day, which was the biggest regret I have ever had.

How were I supposed to meet the girl that made me actually feel something for once ever again..?

Thus everyday after that, I just couldn’t stop getting her out of my mind. None has ever interested me as much as Touko has, in general the way she made me just so happy with having her on my mind. I felt comfortable around her at the festival, and I feel comfort just thinking about her.

Yes, happiness and comfort. I always felt false happiness and barely any comfort the whole time before meeting her. It’s maybe wrong to feel so much happiness and comfort from just having met and spoken with a person, but there just was something about Touko that made me really like her, love her even.

I finally one day decided to go to the place she apparently said she was practicing with her band Morfonica at, CiRCLE, in hopes of at least being able to meet her again, and maybe even tell her how I truly feel...

I didn’t know fully what to say to her, but as I walked and walked, I began realizing just how horrible this would be. Me coming to this place just to confess how I feel about her?

I kept on walking and kept on hesitating before I came up to CiRCLE, but as I stood there, I began crying.

No weeping, just tears of guilt falling down from my eyes. I felt hopeless, because in the end, would it even be worth it? Would I just tell Touko straight up that I am actually in love with her, only to end up being rejected?

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