Saving Helga Geraldine (A Rhett and Link Fanfiction)

Chapter 1: Meet My Life

My name is Helga Geraldine Parker. Yeah, I know, you're cringing. It's terrifying. I live in the boring state of Georgia, in a boring town with my not so boring party animal mother who I'm pretty sure is trapped in a teenager's body, my drunkard father, and my little brother Charlie.

I have exactly one friend, Lily May Walsh, who's parents were put in jail years ago for lord knows what. She lives with her foster mother and little sister Mabel just down the road.

Then there's my boyfriend. His name is Bryant and we got together on a dare. Let's just say he's not the nicest person.

Fast forward to now.

I'm sitting in my room, playing my cello when my mother comes in. She holds a small box wrapped in colorful paper.

"Helga-poo!" She coos. "I have a suprise for you!"

Her hair is piled atop her head and she reeks of ancient perfume. I set down my bow and take the box from her. She clicks her long red fingernails on my music stand.

"Well, go on, open it!"

I tear open the paper to find a small box. I pull the lid off and inside, sitting there in perfect little rectangles, are two VidCon tickets.

I look up at my mother, and her face is consumed by a huge grin. She bounces up and down like a little kid.

"Do you like them?"

"Wow, mom. I'm speechless. Thank you so much."

She grins even more. "I've already talked to Lily May, and you all are getting on the plane tommorow morning." She picks up a bottle of perfume, inspects it, and sprays it all around her. "Now, I'm going out with the girls for a few hours, and I'll be back before midnight. God knows where your father is. Take care of yourself. Kisses." And with that she clicks out of my room on her designer heels and she's gone.

I pick up the phone to call Lily May, but before i can even touch it, it rings and Bryant's caller ID surfaces on the screen. I groan and hit answer.

"Hello?"

"You don't sound happy to talk to me, Helga." He grimaces on the other end.

I sigh loudly. "I'm sorry Bryant, it's just been a long day, alright?"

"Yeah, whatever. Listen, are you busy this weekend? Cause me and the guys were-"

"Yes, actually I do have plans this weekend."

"And what might that be?"

"I'm going somewhere with Lily May."

"Will there be other guys there?"

"Well, I would assume so. We are going to-"

"Then you're not going."

"And who are you to decide that?"

"You're going to flirt around and you do remember what happened last time you did that?"

Sure I do. The bruises on my arm are plenty a reminder.

"Listen, Bryant, it's just a YouTube convention. We'll be gone three days. It's no big deal."

"Fine, Helga. I don't care. Have fun. Lila wanted to make plans anyways. Bye."

The line goes dead. I scowl. Of course he wanted to make plans with Lila. He always wants to.

Lila is the queen bee of our tiny school. I don't even know how you can have a queen bee in a school that small. But we have Lila and she's close enough.

I call Lily May and talk to her for a bit, until she has to go cook dinner. I hang up the phone, put away my music, and walk into the living room. Charlie sits on the couch, his face glued to the TV, as usual, and a bowl of cheese balls sits at his side.

I open the fridge and cringe at the heavy reek of alcohol. I pick over it and try to find something to eat.

"Charlie, did you eat supper?" I call over the noise of the television.

"Mhm." He mumbles back.

I hear a loud crash outside of the window, and then someone scream, but Charlie doesn't react to it. He only turns up the TV louder. Because that's normal for our neighborhood.

And that's my messed up family, messed up neighborhood, messed up boyfriend, and my not-so-messed up best friend who is the only thing that keeps me sane in this messed up life.