The Skin That Crawls From You [A Jonathan Crane Fan-fiction]

What if im the MoNsTERrrrrrr

"That's- that's not fair you can't just say that, how can I trust you. How the hell do you expect me to trust you?"
I whine, a full body panic overtaking me. I stuff my head under the blankets and begin to shake. I want to hide from all this, I want it to stop. It has to stop.

"I don't expect you to believe me."
He says softly, sadly. I hear the desk chair creak and footsteps as he approaches the bed.

I uncover my face slightly and he's there. Kneeling beside the bed. His eyes carry so much sadness, so much grief.

"I regret it, I do."
He says, swallowing hard. I notice the red rim around his eyes.

"I should've taken better care of you."
His jaw tightens as he looks away towards the ground.

"You should've."
I say. Angry. Sad. Terrified.

"If you really loved me, you would've."
I spit.

"You don't love me. You don't know what love is. You're not capable of it."
A flash of pain registers in his eyes as i hiss that final remark. It feels good.

"You're a monster."
I erupt suddenly, finishing him off.

He shuts his eyes and winces, he stands and walks away.

He makes his way toward the door.

"Where are you going?"
A panic ripples through me. My chest tightens with the thought of him leaving. My stomach curdles. He may be a monster, but I feel safe despite the fear.

"Get some sleep Miss Alcott."
He says in a lowered voice. His eyes pierce mine for a moment, he looks absolutely broken too.

"Please-Where are you going?"
I whine, sounding so utterly pathetic.

"I'm going to get another motel room so you can be alone. You need to get some sleep."

The thought of being alone for the night, the thought of him not being here, the thought of possibly losing him again- despite it all- makes me sick.

"No,"
I beg.

"Please don't-"

"Please."
I stuff my head under the covers again, it's hopeless to beg, I've already hurt him. He's not going to stay with me now. I called him a monster.

"Rave- rave please."
He rushes over to the bed and puts a hand on my shoulder. It's unusual to hear my first name in his mouth.

"I love you."
He manages, his eyes stained red with a lack of sleep.

"I'll stay. I'll do whatever you want, whatever-"

"Just stay."
I settle on.

"I don't think this pain will ever go away."
I whisper.
He swallows hard & slumps against the side of my bed.

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Authors note:

I'm so deeply sorry for my chapter's title. I simply had too.

Also- this chapter is super vulnerable & real for me. I personally just went through something like this, where the man I've been with for 5+ years decided to pull the rug out from beneath me. He broke every promise he ever made, and hurt me in ways I never imagined possible. He couldn't live without me and we are back together now, but this is lowkey a play-by-play. So yeah art imitates life sometimes.
Enjoy my heartbreak. 😇