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-You make me feel the things I shouldn't feel-
-
My heart was beating out of my chest as i paced back and fourth in front of kook's house contemplating if i should ring the doorbell or not
I don't think I'm ready for ara to answer the door i know me and her were gonna have a couple of words most likely not any peaceful ones at that
Stepping up the stone steps i raise my hand to knock but before i could a small child opened the door she was a beauty with long sandy brown hair and her eyes were doe somewhat wide just like a special someone i know
For a moment we stare at one another then she politely holds out her hand with the cutest little closed mouth grin on her face "hi! my name is sumire a-and you are?" she stood there staring at me for an answer shyly
That's when i knew exactly who she belonged to
"Hello sumire im taehyung but you can just call me tae is your papa around?" Her eyes widened then she hugged my legs tightly never having the intention to let go
"Papa talks about you all the time he was right when he said that you are really pretty" my heart fluttered for the first time in seven years that irritable feeling of butterflies invaded my stomach once again
"Mire?! Honey where ar-" jungkook came to the door next and when our eyes met everything around us felt as if it stopped
He was so handsome much more mature then when he were back in high-school furthermore in his arms was another child that didn't look a day over four "i-i should leave" i muttered getting ready to run away I don't belong here neither did i deserve this
This was all a silly misunderstanding
"No please!" He grabbed me by my shoulder pulling me into his warm embrace i swear i wanted to cry how at how satisfying it felt to be this close to him again "please come in we really need to talk"
Holding my hand he led me into his house i smile at how cozy the aura felt around us, jungkook sat the baby in his little swing toy next turning on the cartoons for the kids to watch after that we ended up in the kitchen "okay what type of tea would you like? I have chamomile, earl gray but I recommend the mile since it has a nutty-"
"Im sorry!" I blurted out cutting off his little adorable rant about different tea's "i-i know it's too late to say this and i know that i'm selfish hell back then i wanted you all to myself when i knew you loved somebody else but i loved you i still love you and I'll always be in love with you no matter what i do,
I hoped that one day you would feel the same way yet you didn't then I went and blew everything by being jealous somewhat stupid however i never got to apologize for what i did i even ran to your house except i was already too late besides now that i see your happy with your family i have no place to be by your side anymore so goodbye and i wish you all the best of luck i need to forget these foolish feelings of mine" i teared up clenching my fist because i know if i saw the look on his face i would break down and cry
Yet what was really killing me was the loud silence between us
"I know i said sorry and i know that me saying what i said wont change a thing however the thought of you leaving again scares me when i should ignore it" i said again yet jungkook still didn't say a thing making me more nervous than I already was "t-this was a mistake, we were a mistake so thank you for listening to what i had to say now i should go for good"
Turning away I took a deep breath not wanting him to see me cry that would only embarrass me i was done being a burden to him
I should've just stayed home in the first place
"Tae i lied to you back then when i said i wanted to be charismatic to snag the one i love when that person was you from the start and i'm such a dumb ass for not saying anything so many things were just happening too fast spiraling out of my control confusing me on what i should do when in the end i let everyone else decide for me,
After i left i realized that was the one thing i regretted most because without you everything around me didn't make any sense like i was stuck living the worst day of my life over and over again like a nightmare yet now that your here again standing right in front of me its like i-i feel one again so if you think that this and us was a mistake then i have to say this was the best mistake i've ever made"
No don't do that I can't feel like this could work
"Please don't give me hope again" I whispered desperately, exhausted with all of this especially since in the end i know i'll lose to him
I always did
Getting closer his gentle hand caresses my face in an instant i melt at the warm touch of his finger tips as he molds me into the shape he desires
Our foreheads touch and it's like losing your breath but you still gasp for air knowing that you can't give up just yet
Then our eyes meet while my heart skips more beats than it has to, that maybe he could hear it pounding like i can in my ears yet he puts my hand onto his chest to reassure me that i'm not the only one
"J-jungkook don't make me love you again" i begged still he ignored me leaning in
I should've pulled away I needed to end this
Though all my reasoning flew out of the window when our lips collided at that moment i was goner fireworks wasn't even the right way to describe what i felt
No it was way deeper much more intense
Louder than bombs
Pulling away kookie nuzzles his face into my neck hugging me tight so I wouldn't run away again "i'll give you my heart once again but all i ask in exchange is you" he smiled weakly "that's all i ever wanted"
My head kept saying that this was a trap i have to leave right now when i still can Ignorant to the consequences that could come with loving a married man
I just welcome him with opened arms hoping that the worst would never come
