XYREE'S POV
minutes had passed and we stayed on our position naka-talikod pa din ako sa kanya
nag-ipon muna ako ng lakas ng loob bago mapagdesisyunang umalis but he stopped me
"ganon nalang 'yon? you'll just leave after what we've done?" he asked
"what do you want me to do? thanked you for giving me pleasure?" i asked
"now you have the nerve to talked back? samantalang dati para kang maamong tupa" he said and a huge smirk flustered on his face
i didn't bother to answer him
i reached for the door but he stopped me again and pushed me in the wall
"you're getting into my nerves!" he said
"let me go gavin!" i said
but he didn't listen i pushed him as hard as i can tagumpay ko naman siyang natulak
"ano ba! ang sabi mo sa akin layuan na kita pero ikaw 'tong lumalapit! nang gagago kana eh!" i said
nagsimulang tumulo ang luha ko na kanina ko pa pini-pigilan
"hindi ko na alam kung anong mararamdaman ko! i want to be happy! i wasted my time and effort making you fall inlove with me even tho you told me many times that you wouldn't like me! you asked for freedom i gave it! ngayong tina-try ko maging masaya sa ibang tao na deserving tsaka ka susulpot!" i said as i cried
he looked at me
"look, i also don't know why am i like this i just woke up and can't stop thinking about you, i think i like you" he said
"you think? tangina naman gavin! stop playing with my heart just because you know that i love you, i want to be happy even if that means it's not with you so please kahit minsan naman sa buhay mo i-consider mo 'yung nararamdaman ko, isa pa pa'no si celestia?" i said
"i don't know" he replied
"like and love are different, you said you like me but you love her" i said
he hugged me, that was the first time
"i'm not sure what this strange feeling is but all i know is that i want you by my side, i hate seeing you with matthew, i hate how he made you feel special, i hate seeing you with someone else so please stay with me" he said
kumalas ako mula sa pagkakayakap niya
i looked at him and cupped his face
" 'di ko na ulit kayang sumugal sa'yo gavin kung hindi ka sure sa nararamdaman mo, i'd rather take the risk with matthew at least kay matthew i know that i'll be happy, i'm sorry gavin but this time sarili ko naman 'yung pipiliin ko, i'm sorry but i'm giving up" i said
pinunasan ko ang luhang pumatak sa pisngi ko
'di na'ko nag-aksaya ng panahon at agad na lumabas ng cubicle
dire-diretso akong nag-lakad papunta sa parking lot ng café
narinig ko pang tinatawag ni matthew ang pangalan ko
i was about to enter my car when someone grabbed my wrist
"what happened?" he asked
it's matthew
the moment he asked me i burst into tears
i hugged him and he hugged me back i felt safe in his arms
he let me cry for a few minutes
inaya niya ako sa kotse niya, he started the engine of his car and drive off, 'di na ako nag-tanong kung saan kami pupunta
minutes had passed and the next thing i knew is that we are in a hill kung saan may magandang view ng city, it was just like my favorite spot
"so tell me what happened?" he asked
i looked at him
"can i tell you a secret?" i asked
"of course" he replied
"never mind i don't want to hurt you" i said
he cupped my face
"look whether it hurts me or not i'm willing to listen okay?" he said
i took a deep breath
"gavin and i had sex" i said
i looked at his eyes and i saw pain in it
"when?" he asked
"it was his birthday, he was drunk and didn't know what he was doing but still i gave myself" i said
tears starts to fall in my eyes again
he rubbed my back
"after that night the next morning he shouted on my face and said that i should leave him alone because that's what i promised remember? so i did, dumaan 'yung ilang buwan tiniis kong hindi siya kausapin i focused on you matt because i want to be happy with you" i said
"but then kanina nung nag-paalam ako sa'yo, he pulled me in one of the cubicles he told me that he liked me and everything but he's not sure if he really likes me, he wants me to stay with him and leave you then sabi ko hindi ko na ulit kayang sumugal sa kanya lalo na't he's unsure with his feelings" i continued
"ang gulo gulo niya matt, ginagago niya nalang ako kase alam niyang mahal ko siya, so i gave up" i said
he hugged me tight
"shh hush now" he said and started playing my hair
unti unti akong tumigil sa pag-iyak
"thank you matt, alam kong nasasaktan ka din sa mga kinukwento ko lalo na't may gusto ka sa'kin i feel like i don't deserve you, you're such a nice guy" i said
"from the very beginning i already told you i don't expect you to love me back, just let me love you until i get tired." he said
"i'm sorry" i burst into tears again
"it's alright shh" he said
i hope that one day if ever i am not the right girl for you, you find the right girl that will make you happy matthew you deserve someone better.
