AN: I ADDED IMPORTANT CHANGE REaD IT AGAIN love ya xx I added an extra ending scene also reconstructing some things in the book it's worth rereading if u read before December 2022
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" I was practicing ,"
" I was practicing ,"
" nothing interesting happened "
" nothing interesting happened ,"
" I don't remember much ,"
" I don't ..."
Tae looked up at hyunyo with a lost sort of desperation . His darting Tired eyes ringed with heavy night skies beneath them .
" say it ." Hyunyo smiled gently
Tae exhaled shakily , thoughts banged in his head what the fuck am I doing , this is pathetic , humiliating
But one thought swallowed the rest
Drowning out all reason was that instinct .
Like a blue whale in this ocean of rational thought -demanding fear , demanding attention , demanding every minute of blood sweat and tears tae had sacrificed this past month
Survive
Get out of here and survive
" I don't remember anything ."
And tae decided he wouldn't
There was nothing in this four mirror studio he wanted to keep in his mind
Not his beautiful monets
And especially not these shit shows - not this thing between him and hyunyo
He never wanted to remember this .
Taehyung would rather die than have to actually think about what happens when the sixth boy closed that practice door and left them alone in that humid room .
He would rather burn
" good boy ." Hyunyo smiled
Good boy .
He fucking hated hyunyo . Poor helpless unpredictable hyunyo .He hated him and tae had never hated anyone like this in his life . He hated him so much his skin burned like his blood was fire . Boiling Sweat dripping down his neck.
He didn't hate his father even as the police tore him away ,he didn't hate his third grade teacher as his mother screamed at her and they had to move . He didn't hate his stone faced therapist or the pills .not the stalkers . Not the sell outs . He never hated anyone . But hyunyo . Helpful , observant , dedicated Hyunyo. Hyunyo deserved to rot in fucking hell .in the fury of hell .
Survive and burn
Taes dead eyes welled with tears , his skin burning and his chest was empty
Good boy
With a lonely mind void of memories why was he still crying ,he thought on the way home .
why did he feel so much nothingness .
This gross aching nothingness and he was crying .
Why didn't his sweating crying mess of a body want to forget .
Good boy
Why was he so fucking weak . He wanted to be better , he wanted to be V .he wanted ..
Good boy
Perfect . He wanted Perfect
Falling to his knees hard on the pavement , tae exploded a punch at his own pathetic sobbing reflection in the puddle on the side of the road.
"FUUUCK " He screamed from his heart into that city night on his knees. His voice was raw and all throat and exhaustion .
Good boy? Good boy .
He didn't want to be a fucking good boy
He didn't bleed and suffer and break for good . Good meant nothing , good meant shit all .
Perfect for fucks sake . He wanted perfect .
Not good .
——-
" Where - the hell - were you ," suga threatening gritted ; , he was grabbing taes heavy shoulders as namjoon took his bag for him .
" IM SPEAKING TO YOU TAEHYUNG ,"
" tae please answer him - your making it worse ," Jin said quietly
Tae plastered a sincere smile on his sore and sleepy face , giving a nervous exhale
Just like we rehearsed he thought
Finally show time .
YOU ARE READING
I am your perfection -( BTs taehyung / v centric abusive manager )
FanfictionV shuddered with rasping breaths that wheezed out of his panting frame , the bitter taste of iron stung his mouth as his opaque black eyes glared with nebulous rage under his sweaty hair. piercing up at the older man a smirk stretched on his li...
