Jewels of the Crown

♛ 7 ♛

As I ascend the steps leading the secret entrance to my room, I have to pause halfway to catch my breath. I compose myself when I get to the top, brushing my hair off my face, and pulling the hood of my cloak down, not having to worry about being seen anymore. Once I am presentable I push the door open, and almost let out a screech of surprise when I see someone, who isn't Cindy sitting in my room. I stop myself at the last minute, knowing it will cause the guards from outside the room to rush in, and I don't need them to do that.

Robert turns his head to me, his expression not surprised. I swallow, my eyes not leaving his face. What must he be thinking? Is he angry? I wait for him to chastise me for leaving my room, and demand to know where I have been. I wait for him to tell me he's going to tell my mother, which I hope he hasn't already. How long has been sitting here?

"I was told by the guards outside that you were sleeping," he says his voice calm, and not giving away his inner thoughts.

"I.. Uh," I begin, trying to form a sentence which will make sense as well as giving him an appropriate excuse. Robert raises his hand, silencing me.

"I was notified by a guard that someone is asking for you at the gates," he says, ignoring me not being here completely. Relief flows over me, almost certain that the person asking for me is Victoria.

"If you could let them know that I will be down as soon as possible, that'll be much appreciated," I say, hoping that Cindy will arrive soon so I can get dressed and not keep Victoria waiting. I fear she'll give up easily if she doesn't think I'm going to give her my time. Robert stands, letting me know he will do so, before he makes his way to the door. My curiosity winning out, wondering why he's not addressing the situation, I ask him just that.

"Aren't you going to inquire over my absence and why I lied?"

"Should I?" he asks, turning back to look at me. "You're safe, aren't you? You've got a good head on your shoulders, you wouldn't get yourself into any unneeded trouble. It's not like you could have got far. I will tell the guards outside that when you exit to accompany you down to the entrance," he says, an amused smile on his face. He turns again, leaving the room and me standing here utterly confused. Does he know? Yes, in his eyes I could have only been wondering the castle without telling the guards, but surely my clothes say otherwise. Something tells me that he does indeed know about my capers in the kingdom, so why is he not telling me how dangerous it is? My mind whirls with what just happened, and my heart is only just returning to the rhythm it was before I started running.

Behind the partition, I take off my cloak and dress, this time both relatively clean, leaving myself in the slip. I ruffle my hair as I look over myself in the mirror which is still pushed to the side to allow access to the secret door. My eyes fall on each of the notable differences between myself and the girls in the kingdom. I'm plumper in some places, making me look healthy in comparison to the wiry frame of the girls in the kingdom who are underfed and struggling to survive. Even the prostitutes in the public house looked to be all bone, and it shows the real reason for them doing what they do. They too, like everyone else in the kingdom, are trying to survive and it is the only way they can see that will give them the money to make it possible. I twist on the spot, looking at myself from all angles. I run my hands over my body, so I can see my figure under the slip. My hands go over my hips, which my mother calls 'good child-bearing hips', and then up over my slightly protruding stomach. I've never looked in the mirror and not liked what I saw. Maybe it's as a result of growing up in an environment where I'm not particularly criticised over my appearance: if I am it's usually because my makeup or hair isn't done correctly, or my dress doesn't look good.  My mother will also sometimes comment on my appearance, if I look like I haven't been eating. Plump is good - it means you're healthy. My cheekbones and jaw are defined, but my face looks full and healthy, my lips pouting. My eyes aren't sunken into my face, and the surrounding skin isn't nearly as dark as  Victoria's.