miyamura x reader || deja vu

chapter eleven. haircut

note: i edited the confession chapter and added a bit more details since it's pretty important.

also.. this chapter isn't too great since i'm not good at carrying out emotional scenes when i, myself, am not an emotional person (lie)

. . .

"did you hear? miyamura-kun went to visit vice president (l/n)-san when she was sick, and ended up getting sick as well!"

"i wonder what they did...( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)"

miyamura buried his head in his hands, cringing at the false rumors that still circulated even after he had recovered from your illness. you had visited him as well, but it was brief, since you felt very awkward being in his house (this made you feel bad for him, since he had probably felt the same at your place).

you dropped off some convenience store cold meds and returned home.

miyamura had been spiraling, however, and couldn't bring himself to tell you that he was doing worse than you. the attention's starting to be about the wrong things...

even the teacher looked at him with a smug smirk when he asked about absent work!

sadly, this hadn't ended, and new things started coming up. since middle school, miyamura knew he had struggles with self-worth and mental health. you made him feel wanted, and he loved that, but didn't want to admit he didn't want it to end.

the rumors didn't stop there, though.

"i still can't wrap my head around why the vice-president wanted to date him."

"he's so dark and gloomy... i don't see anything appealing about him."

"is there something more? he seems below average, if anything."

"don't let them get to you," you mumbled, walking past his desk. "they just don't know you like i do."

your 'boyfriend' nodded, his ears feeling warm. you were very good at making things sound real. but this didn't stop him from realizing... this was slightly true.

"(l/n)-san, they aren't wrong." he stated, as if defending the class.

"w-what do you mean? you don't come off as... gloomy..." your confidence faltered. he definitely rubbed off that way. you quickly adapted another way of comforting. "it's not a bad thing, miyamura-kun."

"you'd be better off," he replied. he was starting to make you feel bad for him. "choosing someone else.."

"you have no right to worry about me," you replied sternly, slightly cutting him off. pain struck your chest. did he really feel that way? that all of this kindness towards him was because of your social status? "i asked for this. it's all about how you feel."

miyamura didn't say anything.

but he knew that things were going to change, and soon.

i'll have to fix it myself.

. . .

you were worried. the next day, miyamura-kun refused to walk you to school, and just said he'd meet you in class. this was very unlike him.

what if the rumors got to him? what if he can't pretend anymore? what if he's not okay?

your thoughts continued until you reached class 3-1. before you opened the door, you already noted the louder-than-usual conversations of the girls' group, and the commotion and busy buzz of ongoing gossip.

"miyamura-kun!" you exclaimed as soon as you saw his face. he was a bit pale and shaky as he was surrounded by classmates. dark hair framed his face, but a bit differently than usual. his forehead and neck were now visible, his eyeglasses the complete opposite. "you- you cut your hair!"

. . .

for the rest of the day, all you heard was about how different miyamura looked with short hair, the fact he had piercings.. the girls were all over him, and all you could do was look at them tiredly as they pointed out the sudden attractiveness of your boyfriend. he stood out even more, so why would he do it?

and what would happen if they found out about his tattoos? you shuddered at the thought.

you glanced at his table. you watched as miyamura peeked through the the crowd that remained in his general area to smile nervously at you.

then you understood.

did he change for me?

"miyamura-kun!" you called to him from across the room before walking to his desk briskly. he stood up and walked towards you from his seat, and the little crowd parted.

you felt a bit frustrated. miyamura never stopped to think about how status didn't matter to you when it came to relationships, and the only person who should worry about how others think about you is yourself. however, you couldn't stop yourself from thinking: he did this all for me.

you stopped in front of him for a second, your anger showing. what were you even planning on doing? and in front of this entire class? "(l/n)-san?"

you felt your lip quiver a bit, and miyamura gestured to go into the hallway (by half-dragging you).

just as you stopped at the wall, you turned to face him again. "i can't believe you'd let that get to you."

silence.

"you're not responsible for me, only i am." you didn't understand. why the would he put himself through hell to make you look better? was he trying to make you feel horrible?

he didn't reply again.

"i can't believe-" you paused and glanced in the reflection of the window. your face had taken on a light shade of pink. "i can't believe you'd let my superficial social hierarchy affect your life negatively."

miyamura had his eyes downcast, but did not have the expression of a sad puppy. he looked like he was thinking about something.

"i don't understand why you did any of this." your voice had gotten a bit louder, a bit more choked up. you thought about his struggles in his own status and how little friends he had.

there was a moment of silence before he replied.

"they said we didn't fit well together." he said suddenly, a sudden change in tone. stern? angry? emotional? scared?

your eyes widened. "you didn't have to go that far, though..."

"they said we wouldn't be a fit couple because of how differently we looked."

you were frozen. he changed, he accepted all this, mainly because he was worried about how the students thought of your relationship. without regards to remi.

you didn't know what overcame you, but you took a step closer to him and wrapped your arms around him firmly. the embrace was returned, prompting you to hide your embarrassed countenance into his jacket.

"i don't want this to change."