ON MY ONES.

You need to change.

9th of September.
4:53 am*

I walked into the house.

It was dark.

I turned the lights on.

And bashar was just sitting on the couch.

Poppa: "where you been ichik-"

Poppa: "what's wrong baby"

I just ran to him and cried in his arms.

I was tired and sick of  life at this point.

And holding grudges.

Poppa: "calm down mama what happened?"

I looked at him and he was really concerned.

I hid my face quickly because I didn't like people seeing me cry.

Poppa: "stop hiding your hurt baby that only makes it worse,what happened"

I sniffed and cleared my tears.

"Ok so you know that girl that came for me.."

Poppa: "mhm..." he said with a confused expression.

"Me and indie kinda planned to kill her..and then today I got a couple guys to um..drag her out the club and shoot it up..and then-"

Poppa: "YOU WHAT?!, ichika I told you to leave it."

"I know" I said while playing with my fingers and crying.

Poppa: "but why- you know what carry on the full story."

"And then we took her to my old block and put her in the garage and tied her up...then I poured gasoline on and around her"

Poppa: "oh Lord.." he covered his mouth.

"And then indie lit the match and threw it.."

He looked at me in disbelief.

"But then I saw him bashar..."

Poppa: "who did you see?"

"I saw my brother..my dead brother"

"He told me not to kill her and that I should change my ways"

Pop laughed.

Poppa: "yeah you do need to change your ways Ichika..you-you need help."

"I know..."

Poppa: "I can't Ichika I just can't.."

"You can't what?" I said as I wiped my tears.

Poppa: " I don't know Ichika I don't know, you gotta change"

This nigga tryna pull some opra  shit on me?

Like he do not kill the people?!

And then come lay in the bed with me?!