Gone to War (A Bucky Barnes FanFiction)

Chapter Thirty-Three

|| February 4th, 1945. London ||

Ophelia wandered the once busy street that was filled with life and laughter only a few short months ago. The rubble of old brick and burnt wood lay lifeless around her. The lives of people lay dead, their homes, shops, pubs, everything. All taken by the enemy. Her eyes were heavy as the haze of the night lifting from London, just started in the early morning. She didn't sleep, nor did she want to. The fear of being alone and being trapped in her nightmares was enough to turn her away from sleeping.

As she walked the destroyed streets where she once walked with Peggy Carter, she heard a radio within the Pub where she found Colonel Charles alive. The same one where just down the road, her and Bucky held each other. Pushing the thought of Bucky away, she entered the destroyed pub. Sitting an one of the only tables left standing, drinking his worries away, was Steve.

Ophelia and Steve had not talked since Bucky had died. The pair became silent and isolated from each other, both feeling guilty of the unfortunate fate of their closest friend. Ophelia felt tears spring to her eyes, as she debated going into the pub to sit with him. Before she could decide, Steve spoke up.

"He loved you." Steve said, his back still facing Ophelia.

"I know." Ophelia said with a shaky breath, "He loved you too."

Steve turned to Ophelia, shaking his face in the dim light. His face was red, stained with tears, his eyes heavy like Ophelia's. With her heart beating, Ophelia felt like a child again, slowly approaching her friend, feeling horrible that Steve was crying, as she had never seen him cry before. Steve had been so strong for Ophelia, even as children and now as adults, but she knew this was his breaking point. Picking up a chair next to the table, Ophelia sat in front of her friend and took his hand.

"Steve." Ophelia whispered, her friend looking up to her. "I could have saved him."

"Don't do that Ophelia," Steve sat up in his chair, "don't blame yourself."

"But I knew this was going to happen." Ophelia locked eyes with Steve, tears fell down her face.

"What do you mean?" Steve questioned.

"My nightmares," she breathed out, "I saw this in my nightmares, I saw him fall."

"There was no way you knew it was true."

"But they felt real." Ophelia said as Steve fell silent.

"Have you had any since?" Steve asked looking away from her.

Ophelia bit her lip, "I have, but it's a different nightmare now."

Steve nodded and sipped his drink. Ophelia sat on her hands as the cold morning air chilled her bones. "I contacted his mother, and yours."

"Why?" Ophelia asked suddenly. "You know I haven't talked to my mother since I first left!"

"They need you right now, his sisters need you by their side. Your mother hasn't heard from you after all these years." Steve shook his head not wanting to start anything.

"But the war isn't over!" She started to raise her voice, she leaned forward as the wood creaked below her.

"It is for you." Steve looked straight into Ophelia's eyes, "I can't risk losing you, not after Bucky." His eyes pleading, "Please, go home."

"I can't." Ophelia shook her head, "Not when we can stop anyone else from getting killed."

"I can loose you Ophelia!" Steve slammed him glass down on the table, making her jump. The Captain sighed and shook his head again, his face still red from his tears, "I can't."

Ophelia looked to her lap, fearful of her protest. She took a breath and stood from her chair. Walking through the destroyed pub that once lived, she turned back once more to her childhood friend. "I won't stop fighting for what I believe in Steve." Her voice was low and stern, "You have lost your way, therefore I do not see what you believe." She heard Steve huff, "But I believe in fighting for Bucky. Do not make promises you cannot keep Steven."

With a final look, Ophelia turned away from Steve and walked back out into the dark street. She pulled her jacket closer to herself as she walked through the rubble of the London street. As she walked, she saw Peggy Carter walking down the street towards her.

"Ophelia." She almost gasped, shocked to see her there.

"If you're looking for Captain America," she said sarcastically, "he's having a drink down at the old pub."

"What happened?" Peggy asked. Ophelia hadn't talked to Peggy much since she got back, since Buck died. Peggy gave her condolences but Ophelia brushed her off.

"Steve told me to go home." She said bluntly, "Which I won't."

"Maybe it's best you-"

"No, Peggy." Ophelia took a step back as Peggy reached for her arm. "No." She whispered. "I can't let Buck go like this, not when we can end this war."

"You are allowed to mourn him Ophelia, you don't have to pretend." Peggy whispered.

"I can't, not now." Ophelia shook her head, "we've got work to do." And with that, Ophelia turned away and walked down the stone path littered with the ruins of the streets.