there you are [zarry]

iv

They settle into a routine so easily and flawlessly that Harry sometimes thinks he's dreaming.

He gets up with Zain, making him breakfast and packing him lunch — sandwiches and something sweet he baked — and a snack and Zain always smiles at him gratefully.

Part of Harry's surprised that Zain doesn't think it's embarrassing, arriving at his job — a cool one at that — with a packed lunch.

He'll see Zain off, mostly so that Zain can see Hania as long as possible, the plays with her until she's ready to sleep. He uses her first nap to clean up the kitchen an prepare things for dinner, preparing his own lunch — a quick salad or a sandwich as well, sometimes a soup — and then he takes her outside for a walk often stopping on the way back to buy some more groceries.

He calls his mum and sometimes Trisha, calls his sister and those friends he's kept in the divorce, chatting about his day and mostly listening to them tell him about their lives.

His own life is full of Hania and cooking for Zain but it never amounts to much when he talks about it and his friends aren't really interested in repeated descriptions of how sweet Hania look when she slept.

"You look good," his mum says, sounding surprised.

Hania is slapping her palms to the floor, rocking slightly as she stares up at the small animals dangling above her.

"Shouldn't I?" Harry asks, pulling his eyes from Hania to look back at the iPad.

"I'm glad," his mother says, shaking her head a bit. "Very much so. I just thought you'd need longer."

"I'm still not happy with Jack," Harry says. "And it hurts to think about it. But I try not to think about it too much. And Hania is such a love and Zain hasn't complained once about my cooking or anything. He likes it."

"That's good," his mum smiles. "You always put so much effort into it, it's sad that Jack never appreciated you."

"Zain even takes lunch with him," Harry says, smiling at her happily. "Trisha is very happy," he adds.

"I know," his mum smiles. "She's so glad, she says he looks better as well, less hallow-cheeked. More relaxed."

"I have Hania at night now," Harry says. "So he sleeps through most night." He feels a bit like discussing another child, talking about Zain's eating and sleeping habits. "And he trusts me with Hania, I think."

"Definitely," his mum nods. "He's taking your lunches sometimes then? And he eats them?"

"Yea, I'm pretty sure," Harry nods. He licks his lips and remembers how it had felt when Jack had confessed that he'd taken the lunches but emptied them in the bin, ordering something instead. It had been years ago, and maybe Harry should have taken it as a sign.

"He asks for stuff sometimes, and sometimes he brings back left-overs. Like half-eaten sandwiches, you know. And he tells me when he likes something," he blushes, hoping it doesn't sound like bragging. "He says "that was even better than usual, you should make that more often", you know."

"I'm glad, love," his mum says, smiling at him. "And Trisha says you'll start travelling soon!"

"Not so soon," Harry shakes his head. "In two months his tour will start, but in the UK. So in London obviously he's just gonna stay. And he says he's taking us to Manchester and Leeds and Cardiff and all that, but I'm not sure. I don't think it makes sense to take Hania and me and everything for one night when he'll on stage or sleeping most of the time anyways."