Malevolent. The Walking Dead

[ 012 ] i forget how i got here

012: i forget how i got here

The church was small, it was something Joey first noticed ━ part of her felt claustrophobic. She inched behind Bill like a lost puppy and hid her things beneath the pew closest to the door. It seemed as though everyone moved in silence. She heard Father Gabriel speaking to Rick when she sat down, for the first time in what seemed like forever. There were empty cans aligning the front of the church, ripped open and mostly eaten. Joey couldn't see much from where she was sitting, but she was still on edge. Bill could tell by how tense her shoulders were and how they nearly reached her ears.

Joey wasn't sure if she wanted to be here. Despite being surrounded by people, she felt isolated and lonely. No one was comfortable. She anticipated that ━ but it made her shake. Her hands were red and calloused, and there was a slight flush to her face that made her think she might start to cry. She didn't need a reason to cry anymore, it just happened. Her eyes would get that heated, itchy feeling, she had to swallow the lump in her throat, and suddenly there were tears cascading down her face like clockwork. Joey didn't need a reason to cry anymore, but there always was a reason.

There was a place not far from the church with canned food. Gabriel said there were over a dozen rotters that overran it, so he'd been avoiding it ━ at least, that's what she assumed they were talking about. Her mind easily wandered elsewhere.

"Tyreese should stay here to help keep Judith safe," Sasha had announced, which broke Joey away from whatever thought she was caught in. Finn was fidgeting with his knife next to her, picking out the dirt from beneath his nails. He was clumsy and drew some blood. Joey noticed the knots in his hair as it was overgrown. She used to sloppily chop off locks of her hair when it got too long, but she noticed how it nearly touched her thighs when she sat down. Her dead ends were beyond dead at this point. Bill walked up to her and tapped on her arm, before crouching down and waving the two of them to lean in.

"Listen. Rick wants me to head out with them and look for the food,"

Joey tensed up. He put up a hand to stop her from speaking. "Just listen to me. I know we don't really trust these guys yet, but ━ they're all we got right now. Our chance to get some food,"

"I'll go with you," Joey insisted, but Bill sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Nah. You're staying here, just like Finn, just like Carl. But keep your guard up. We don't know what these guys are up to, but we all seem to be on the same page. That freaky priest guy is hiding something ━ we're all on edge. I need you guys to be on alert at all times. Okay?"

The pair of them looked to each other, and it took Joey a great deal of will power to nod her head in agreement. She hung her head low. "Alright. Stay safe," he squeezed Joey's forearm, but she avoided looking at him. Carol and Daryl were going out to find water, and Tara, Maggie and Glenn went to scavenge in a nearby town. Joey felt useless, as she sat on the pew fidgeting with her fingers. She could hear Judith babbling with Carl, but every time she looked at them she got a sour taste in her mouth. Joey wasn't sure why. Her main drive was probably envy, but then again, every time she tried to look at Finn as a brother it made her even more angry as well. Everything made her angry.

"You need a haircut," she spat out to Finn, who had propped his legs up on the pew and spun the knife between his fingers. The backwards hat on his head was dingy and the fabric was ripping, and she could practically smell it from here. "You're one to talk, raggedy Anne," he pulled on the framing pieces of her face, and she kicked him in the leg. He dropped his knife and it clattered onto the floor.

"Shit, I could've stabbed myself!" he groaned, bending down to pick up his knife. "You're so fucking dramatic,"

"You're the one who pushed me, for pulling your hair,"